The teacher.

I had class today. Well, two classes, actually. But let's just talk for a minute about the first. It was Marketing, which is one that I have been dreading since I registered for it months ago. I have been dreading it because I assumed it would be a semester-long torture chamber of business-speak (you know what I'm talking about - "the integrated solutions of a global-level customer focused small business blah blah blah...") and I also thought that it would do what most of my business classes have done so far which is remove all thought and feeling from people and make them into emotionless money-hoarding idiots that must be coaxed into giving the honest businessmen of the world their cold, hard cash.

I was right.

But there is something quite good about the class. It's something that is so good that when I was in class, I took out a pen and paper and wrote, "Note to self - Write blog about teacher's hilarious habit."

For a good mental image, he looks EXACTLY like Jin from Lost. Picture Jin here with a pink tie.


So here is my teacher's habit:

You know when you are asking someone a question that you KNOW they know the answer to and they just... can't... think... of... it...? And you know that odd little thing we all do where we attempt to let the person save face by saying the answer syllable-by-syllable VERY slowly? Let me give you an example.

"Hey, Francis. Do you know who the first president of America was?"
"Oh, yeah Raul. Sure I know it. It was... uhhh. Ummm... Oh what the fuck was his name? I can picture him. With the hair. On the money. With the slaves. What is his name? Come on. I know this" (ETC.)
"Jooooo......joooooooooorrrrrrr.....joooooorrrrrrrrrrrggggggeeeee...."
"Oh yeah George Washington!"

Well my teacher does that. And he really drags out the syllables. Like he REALLY DRAGS them out. People were laughing at him openly. And others were dumbfounded. It was like putting on a record of an opera and then holding your finger along the edge to really slow that bastard down.

But unfortunately for everyone in that class, he does his little syllable-thing at odd times to questions that nobody knows the answer to. This is what he did, and I have the notes to prove it.

"What should business try and make?" was his question. Now this is a pretty broad question. Money would be my first guess. Or a better world. Or something big and general. That would be why he is asking us, wouldn't it? That's not how he sees it. What followed was a 45 second-long syllable stream that was as funny as it was awkward.

"Looooooooo....loooooooonnnnnnn......looooonnnnnnngggggggg. Long. Long tttttttt..... long tteeeeeeeeerrrrrrr...."

And he saw it out to the bitter end. I'll spare you and my keyboard the rest of the drawn-outness of his answer. What he was looking for was "Long-term profitable customer-driven strategy." It was on the tip of my tongue. I swear.

Oh and mom, I'm sorry I didn't call back the other night. Kathryn lanced my blood blister and it hurt really bad and I laid on the couch in pain for a while. Then it was too late to call. It is much better today. I love you.