This weekend Kathryn and I, as well as Kat's family, went to the wedding of Kathryn's god-parent's son. I was quite excited because they are Indian (the groom at least), and I was expecting an ethnic celebration with all kinds of foods I've never heard of and people playing instruments I've never seen.
It was the most normal Roman-Catholic wedding you could imagine. Score one point for Westernization. And score another point for Bebo's American stereotypes not panning out. And score yet another point for Bebo breaking his 11 wedding streak of getting obnoxiously drunk and doing something he will regret.
Honestly, it was great. And all of the food was vegetarian until the last plate when they brought out the veal. Some would say that is one extreme to the other, but I digress. The DJ, who was very funny, before the veal came out, asked if there were any vegetarians in the house. Since I had already told the waiters that I would not be dining on any baby cow that eve, I didn't raise my hand because I didn't want to get made fun of. But he said that he hates people that say they are vegetarian but eat fish and chicken because, "that's like someone saying 'I'm straight. I'm a total lady's man. But all I want right now is a well-hung black man'."
In closing, as some of you may know, today is Victoria Day in Canada which celebrates the birthday of Queen Victoria. And as an American with Irish ancestry, I say "Long live the Queen!"
Monday, May 19, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
The Maverick we love to hate.
Hello everybody. Summer vacation is a beautiful thing, isn't it? It offers one a chance to catch up on everything they want to and then some. It has also afforded me the chance to scour the far corners of the internet to ask the burning question that is on everyone's minds - "Why is John McCain the worst possible person to be president?" The only way to answer that question is in list form, naturally, so here goes.
Why I hate John McCain (a buffer for all who would care to know)
1. He is a 'flip-flopper' on everything from Bush's tax cuts (He voted against them in 2001 and said said at the time, “I cannot in good conscience support a tax cut in which so many of the benefits go to the most fortunate among us at the expense of middle-class Americans who need tax relief.” He now fully supports them and wants them to become permanent.) to campaign finance reform (so much so that he got in on a bill called McCain-Feingold Act which was a huge deal. And then he neglected to support it) and everything in-between.
2. He wants us to be in Iraq for 100 years.
3. He was one of the Keating Five and got off with a slap on the wrist.
4. He is a misogynist. He has no problems with a supporter asking him how he is going to "Beat the bitch" in reference to Hillary Clinton. He even gets a nice little chuckle out of it. He has also said some very horrible things to his wife:
When he was asked about this recently by a baptist minister, he acted like he was shocked to hear such language (unlike when someone calls Hillary Clinton a bitch) and DIDN'T DENY IT:
4. McCain is against net neutrality. This is something that many people feel could be one of the most important issues within the next 10 years. It is basically about the right of the internet to be an open channel without any filtering from companies or business blocking access to certain sites. For example, if you have Comcast internet, without net neutrality, they would be able to block you from going to YouTube or Yahoo! and you would have to pay extra for those 'privileged sites'. Or worse, Comcast could block you from looking at ATT's website so you can't be thinking about switching service. However, according to John McCain, "When you control the pipe you should be able to get profit from your investment.”
5. This video should kind of sum it up nicely.
And if that doesn't convice you, this should.
In closing, "Quoth the maverick, 'forever war'"
Why I hate John McCain (a buffer for all who would care to know)
1. He is a 'flip-flopper' on everything from Bush's tax cuts (He voted against them in 2001 and said said at the time, “I cannot in good conscience support a tax cut in which so many of the benefits go to the most fortunate among us at the expense of middle-class Americans who need tax relief.” He now fully supports them and wants them to become permanent.) to campaign finance reform (so much so that he got in on a bill called McCain-Feingold Act which was a huge deal. And then he neglected to support it) and everything in-between.
2. He wants us to be in Iraq for 100 years.
3. He was one of the Keating Five and got off with a slap on the wrist.
4. He is a misogynist. He has no problems with a supporter asking him how he is going to "Beat the bitch" in reference to Hillary Clinton. He even gets a nice little chuckle out of it. He has also said some very horrible things to his wife:
Three reporters from Arizona, on the condition of anonymity, also let me in on another incident involving McCain's intemperateness. In his 1992 Senate bid, McCain was joined on the campaign trail by his wife, Cindy, as well as campaign aide Doug Cole and consultant Wes Gullett. At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain's hair and said, "You're getting a little thin up there." McCain's face reddened, and he responded, "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt." McCain's excuse was that it had been a long day.
When he was asked about this recently by a baptist minister, he acted like he was shocked to hear such language (unlike when someone calls Hillary Clinton a bitch) and DIDN'T DENY IT:
4. McCain is against net neutrality. This is something that many people feel could be one of the most important issues within the next 10 years. It is basically about the right of the internet to be an open channel without any filtering from companies or business blocking access to certain sites. For example, if you have Comcast internet, without net neutrality, they would be able to block you from going to YouTube or Yahoo! and you would have to pay extra for those 'privileged sites'. Or worse, Comcast could block you from looking at ATT's website so you can't be thinking about switching service. However, according to John McCain, "When you control the pipe you should be able to get profit from your investment.”
5. This video should kind of sum it up nicely.
And if that doesn't convice you, this should.
In closing, "Quoth the maverick, 'forever war'"
Monday, April 28, 2008
A broken man.
Like that iron man runner that hobbles towards the finish line in that Gatorade commercial, I am officially done with my first year of university. My finals season was spread out over about two weeks and broke me like a steed. Be it stress or Canada, I have somehow acquired a cold/infection/curse that led Kathryn and I to a French, socialist hospital last night. Alas, I trudge on.
Now that my pity party is over, let's get on to the good stuffs. I officially will NOT fail out of school, I live with my best friend who I am madly in love with, there is no more snow on the ground, and best of all, the Cubs are in first place. Life is good.
It's nap time now. There is another hockey game tonight so if you don't hear from me, just assume that I was torched in a drunken, sovereign-obsessed, police car-burning riot.
(sorry for the horrible music in this video)
Now that my pity party is over, let's get on to the good stuffs. I officially will NOT fail out of school, I live with my best friend who I am madly in love with, there is no more snow on the ground, and best of all, the Cubs are in first place. Life is good.
It's nap time now. There is another hockey game tonight so if you don't hear from me, just assume that I was torched in a drunken, sovereign-obsessed, police car-burning riot.
(sorry for the horrible music in this video)
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Oh no!
Iiiiiiiittttttttt's finals time again folks! So everyone just say a little prayer for me so I don't fail out of school and get shamed back into the United States.
I would like to commend Jude on the filthiest, most thought out comment I've ever seen.
And I am just going to ask everyone to hold out for another week or two until finals are over and then I have a few ideas that I've been kickin' around the ol' bucket upstairs that'll knock your socks right off.
Finally, I just want to share this with all of you. The internet gives us all a good laugh every now and then, but I feel that this is the funniest thing I've seen in the history of ever - The Dangers of Being a TV News Reporter:
Goodnight and good luck.
I would like to commend Jude on the filthiest, most thought out comment I've ever seen.
And I am just going to ask everyone to hold out for another week or two until finals are over and then I have a few ideas that I've been kickin' around the ol' bucket upstairs that'll knock your socks right off.
Finally, I just want to share this with all of you. The internet gives us all a good laugh every now and then, but I feel that this is the funniest thing I've seen in the history of ever - The Dangers of Being a TV News Reporter:
Goodnight and good luck.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Ask and ye shall receive, Dave.
Exhibit A :
Exhibit B :
These are two examples of lazy marketing. Some people refer to these as the "idiot nets" because if you just scoop these through late night TV, you are bound to catch a few easy sales.
So what does this have to do with all of us? Today, I was the recipient of the following "idiot net" email. I have crossed out the names to protect the guilty:
After reading the email and clicking-thru to the website, here is the juice of that:
My initial positive thoughts:
1. His grammar, though not great, is passable.
2. He obviously has a grasp on how to google "iPod + Montreal + blog".
3. He has proven to me that he has at least read the first post of my blog.
4. He also seems to be a very trusting person since he equates my former residence in Chicago and current status in Montreal as somehow validating the idea that "Greatness of (CITY) = truthiness of stories about (OTHER CITY)" and that is a good thing.
5. There is no catch! They say it right there! That's a huge relief.
6. He thinks that I am an "outgoing social connector" and is correct.
My initial negative thoughts:
1. It's some crappy corporate scam.
2. He is a jackass.
What do you think? Should I do it?
Oh, hi. I didn't see you there. Well, as long as you're here, let me tell you about term life insurance.
You see, ever since Julie died, the funeral bills have been piling up. If only we had gotten this life insurance sooner.
Exhibit B :
Oh, darling, what is that you've put into the shopping cart? All new Smart Shakes? But those can't be good for you! WHAT? THEY ARE? They're packed with vitamins and anti-oxidants? That sounds great. Let's get 2!
These are two examples of lazy marketing. Some people refer to these as the "idiot nets" because if you just scoop these through late night TV, you are bound to catch a few easy sales.
So what does this have to do with all of us? Today, I was the recipient of the following "idiot net" email. I have crossed out the names to protect the guilty:
"I was reading your blog today. It was super funny. Tough break about the AOL thing. That 850 would have been nice to have. I have been to Chicago but I have not yet been to Montreal. Chicago was great so I can only assume that all the stories about Montreal are true. I wanted to check it out for UFC but the tickets sold it in like 20 seconds. Ah well, what can you do.
My name is ---- and I work for -----, a word of mouth marketing company in Toronto and we're looking for people in Montreal to try out a new ipod charger. All that we ask in return for you testing it out is your feedback. Hopefully you own an ipod and can get use out of a charger.
If you're interested you can check out ----- or you can email me back at ------.
Alright man, keep writing your blog, it's really funny. Take care,
-----"
After reading the email and clicking-thru to the website, here is the juice of that:
Is this you?
* Live, work or go to school in urban Toronto or Montreal
* Between the ages of 18-35
* Commute daily or travel long distances for work or school
* Own and regularly use an iPod
* Are active online and an outgoing social connector online and offline
What’s the catch?
There is no catch - all we ask in exchange for the ---- is that you use it as much as you can, show it to all your friends, talk about it whenever the opportunity arises, and provide us with your honest feedback about your experience...
My initial positive thoughts:
1. His grammar, though not great, is passable.
2. He obviously has a grasp on how to google "iPod + Montreal + blog".
3. He has proven to me that he has at least read the first post of my blog.
4. He also seems to be a very trusting person since he equates my former residence in Chicago and current status in Montreal as somehow validating the idea that "Greatness of (CITY) = truthiness of stories about (OTHER CITY)" and that is a good thing.
5. There is no catch! They say it right there! That's a huge relief.
6. He thinks that I am an "outgoing social connector" and is correct.
My initial negative thoughts:
1. It's some crappy corporate scam.
2. He is a jackass.
What do you think? Should I do it?
Monday, March 17, 2008
St. Patty.
So here we are. One more St. Patrick's Day down the drain, and I still don't have long-flowing red locks.
So it turns out that AOL was actually buying some shitty MySpace-ripoff website, so I am not going to see any part of that sweet sweet $850mil. Incidentally, if anyone knows about a good tattoo-removal service in Montreal, I may have (in all of the excitement) gotten a tattoo of the AOL guy on my head.
Hey, don't judge. You never know how you will act if you think that you're getting almost a billion dollars from this guy:
Yesterday, Kat and I experienced a first. It was our first neighbor complaint. I was in the kitchen cooking us some nice little pasta for dinner, when suddenly there is a knock on the door. Kat answers and says some gibberish in French, and then comes back and says that the guy upstairs asked if we could open a window because the garlic was bothering him. Apparently, we live directly below a vampire. An asshole of a vampire.
I have always imagined my first neighbor complaint to be over something silly that I could easily explain away and gain a nice friend out of it. "Oh, I'm sorry. That loud sound you heard will never happen again because that was me beating up a burglar. You're welcome for making our building safer." I would say. And they would love me.
But instead, we get Dracula in 3E with the sensitive olfactory. And he's not here because I just bested a would-be robber in a game of fists. He's here because he sucks and wants to piss me right the hell off.
Mission accomplished. I think I will fry up some garlic and then go suplex his Transilvanian ass.
So it turns out that AOL was actually buying some shitty MySpace-ripoff website, so I am not going to see any part of that sweet sweet $850mil. Incidentally, if anyone knows about a good tattoo-removal service in Montreal, I may have (in all of the excitement) gotten a tattoo of the AOL guy on my head.
Hey, don't judge. You never know how you will act if you think that you're getting almost a billion dollars from this guy:
Yesterday, Kat and I experienced a first. It was our first neighbor complaint. I was in the kitchen cooking us some nice little pasta for dinner, when suddenly there is a knock on the door. Kat answers and says some gibberish in French, and then comes back and says that the guy upstairs asked if we could open a window because the garlic was bothering him. Apparently, we live directly below a vampire. An asshole of a vampire.
I have always imagined my first neighbor complaint to be over something silly that I could easily explain away and gain a nice friend out of it. "Oh, I'm sorry. That loud sound you heard will never happen again because that was me beating up a burglar. You're welcome for making our building safer." I would say. And they would love me.
But instead, we get Dracula in 3E with the sensitive olfactory. And he's not here because I just bested a would-be robber in a game of fists. He's here because he sucks and wants to piss me right the hell off.
Mission accomplished. I think I will fry up some garlic and then go suplex his Transilvanian ass.
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