Merry Christmas to all. I talked to a lot of you and emailed some others. For everyone else, I wish you a belated Merry Christmas. Also Happy Boxing Day! Canada and shit.
I don't have too much to report. I'm just kinda packing and we're getting ready for our trip back to Chicago. I'll really try and post while I'm there, but I can't promise it because we'll be really busy and we have a lot to do.
Also, this video is the best eight-and-a-half minutes I've ever invested in anything on the internet and I advise you all to do the same. And no, I'm not going to turn this into a political blog. I just get really into primary season. It's like the playoffs in baseball - do-or-die mentality, rich people making a name for themselves, and people that don't understand think it's all a big joke. For us that do understand are are passionate:
(Click on the big arrow in the middle to play)
Until next time, Happy Birthday Dave!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
My crappy cooking show.
I guess I'm more like my father than either of us would think. For those of you who don't know my father, he is a great man, EXTREMELY intelligent, loving, and perpetually happy. He also has this little habit of talking to himself. I guess everyone does it a bit, but my dad talks to himself probably more than most. Not excessively. On the bell curve of talking to yourself, he's probably in the μ+σ (mu plus sigma) to μ+2σ (mu plus two sigma) range:
Incidentally, the Greek alphabet is the most practical thing I learned my 3 semesters of calculus at South Suburban.
Anyway, earlier I was preparing some cheesy potatoes for Christmas Eve with Kathryn's family tomorrow, and I realized that I talk to myself. Not a lot, but enough that it was kind of eye-opening.
Let me go off course for a minute here. Talking to yourself is something that "they" say smart people do. You know that vague, "Oh well they say that you shouldn't blah blah blah," or, "Yeah they were saying that this summer is gonna be HOT!" or any other very general statement that people say that they want to put a nonexistent expert behind. So you think, "Well they say smart people talk to themselves... I talk to myself...therefore I must be smart!" But in reality "they" are people that talk to themselves and are trying to make people think they are smart. When I started losing my hair in my late teens, people would tell me, "Oh well they say that bald men look more distinguished." That's all well and good except that "they" are insecure bald men who started this whole silly mess about being distinguished. Also, I wasn't a 50 year old man submitting my life's work for peer review... I was 17! You know what I say? THEY suck.
So back to me talking to myself -
I was preparing the potatoes, and it took about 45 minutes. In that 45 minutes I said all of 5 things. If you had a microphone in the kitchen, this is what you would have heard.
"How in the fuck do you LOSE a cheese-grater?" Because it was $3 cheaper for the big ol' slab of cheddar than the pre-shredded bag, I had to grate that whole monster down. Unfortunately for me, the cheese-grater grew little cheesy legs and ran off to hide somewhere.
"You little piece of shit cheese-grater." This is how I say hi to the cheese-grater when I do find it. Out loud.
"Oh that's a nice little chunk of cheddar." Take that literally. You gotta eat the little nub of cheese at the end. It was good.
"AHHH That's fuckin' sick." (TWICE) Let me explain. I'm a vegetarian so I obviously don't cook with meat. I almost always cook things that can be tasted at virtually every stage of preparation. Do you want a taste of the pasta sauce even though it's only been cooking for a minute? Go for it. It's just cold and unseasoned. Now I have this up-until-now perfectly fine habit of licking spoons that I scoop things with and then rinsing them off. Just for a little taste. Today, though, I was cooking with butter and sour cream. Add this all up and it equals me licking a big old nasty spoonful of butter (SICK) and then like a dumbass, a big ol' hefty spoonful of sour cream.
Both times, I talked to myself. Out loud. After midnight. In the kitchen. Alone.
Anyway, they say that guys named Bebo that have blogs are super cool and can hold their own with a blade. Watch out for that.
Incidentally, the Greek alphabet is the most practical thing I learned my 3 semesters of calculus at South Suburban.
Anyway, earlier I was preparing some cheesy potatoes for Christmas Eve with Kathryn's family tomorrow, and I realized that I talk to myself. Not a lot, but enough that it was kind of eye-opening.
Let me go off course for a minute here. Talking to yourself is something that "they" say smart people do. You know that vague, "Oh well they say that you shouldn't blah blah blah," or, "Yeah they were saying that this summer is gonna be HOT!" or any other very general statement that people say that they want to put a nonexistent expert behind. So you think, "Well they say smart people talk to themselves... I talk to myself...therefore I must be smart!" But in reality "they" are people that talk to themselves and are trying to make people think they are smart. When I started losing my hair in my late teens, people would tell me, "Oh well they say that bald men look more distinguished." That's all well and good except that "they" are insecure bald men who started this whole silly mess about being distinguished. Also, I wasn't a 50 year old man submitting my life's work for peer review... I was 17! You know what I say? THEY suck.
So back to me talking to myself -
I was preparing the potatoes, and it took about 45 minutes. In that 45 minutes I said all of 5 things. If you had a microphone in the kitchen, this is what you would have heard.
"How in the fuck do you LOSE a cheese-grater?" Because it was $3 cheaper for the big ol' slab of cheddar than the pre-shredded bag, I had to grate that whole monster down. Unfortunately for me, the cheese-grater grew little cheesy legs and ran off to hide somewhere.
"You little piece of shit cheese-grater." This is how I say hi to the cheese-grater when I do find it. Out loud.
"Oh that's a nice little chunk of cheddar." Take that literally. You gotta eat the little nub of cheese at the end. It was good.
"AHHH That's fuckin' sick." (TWICE) Let me explain. I'm a vegetarian so I obviously don't cook with meat. I almost always cook things that can be tasted at virtually every stage of preparation. Do you want a taste of the pasta sauce even though it's only been cooking for a minute? Go for it. It's just cold and unseasoned. Now I have this up-until-now perfectly fine habit of licking spoons that I scoop things with and then rinsing them off. Just for a little taste. Today, though, I was cooking with butter and sour cream. Add this all up and it equals me licking a big old nasty spoonful of butter (SICK) and then like a dumbass, a big ol' hefty spoonful of sour cream.
Both times, I talked to myself. Out loud. After midnight. In the kitchen. Alone.
Anyway, they say that guys named Bebo that have blogs are super cool and can hold their own with a blade. Watch out for that.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Another funny subtitle.
This is a video that's going around the internet a bit. It's quite freaky, but that's not the reason I'm putting it up here. At about 0:15, you will see just what I'm talking about with the laziness of subtitle writers these days.
Look out, Shakespeare! Watch your back, Poe! Forget, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." because we now have "Paul Karason - Has Blue Skin"!
You, Mr./Mrs. Subtitle Writer, are the Jackson Pollock of subtitles. Where 99% of the world says, "Shit, I could do that if I had enough beer and didn't care about ruining my hardwood floors," that 1% of pretentious art-snobs will "see the genius of your work."
Keep it up, soldier!
Look out, Shakespeare! Watch your back, Poe! Forget, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." because we now have "Paul Karason - Has Blue Skin"!
You, Mr./Mrs. Subtitle Writer, are the Jackson Pollock of subtitles. Where 99% of the world says, "Shit, I could do that if I had enough beer and didn't care about ruining my hardwood floors," that 1% of pretentious art-snobs will "see the genius of your work."
Keep it up, soldier!
The SNOW.
The snow is finally finished. I hope. I don't have total numbers on how much we got, but it's taller than knee-high, but not quite waist-high. Our car was so packed in from a drift and the plow that the snow was higher than the hood. All you could see was the back window. It was nutty.
I don't have too much to report other than the meteorological status of our island. Being off school is quite nice. I've been catching up on some reading, doing a little painting, donating my time to my favorite philanthropic organizations, and really working on reading for next semester's classes. And in case you didn't actually click on all the links, I'm actually eating, sleeping, shitting, and going on digg. Life is good.
I've also been watching a lot of news and I am really getting psyched about the presidential primaries. If you're wondering who I want to win, I'm rooting for anyone that is black. And if that doesn't happen, my next favorite choice is anyone that is a woman. Hopefully someone fitting those criteria will make it through the primaries. (Obama/Clinton 2008)
One person, however, I really, really hope DOESN'T win is a man named Mike Huckabee. He's running for the Republican nomination. I don't want him to win for many reasons, but here are the top 3.
1. He believes that "Women should submit to their husbands". I'm not going to say anything more than this - that is what everyone thought ONE THOUSAND YEARS AGO. If he were running one thousand years ago for political office, he may be running against David. As in David from the Bible. Not David my brother. Or David my father. David, the King of Israel.
2. Recent presidents haven't had the greatest luck with their children. The current Bush's daughters are drunks and miscreants. George H.W. Bush's son is the worst person since Hitler. Bill had Chelsea and that was Ok. But Mike Huckabee, well his son captured a dog, tortured it, and then murdered it. And then Mike Huckabee covered it all up. I just have one thing to say about this. Hey, Huckabee - Michael Vick called. He was asking if you can do anything for him, too. ZING!
3. Most importantly, this is a picture of his family.
This picture is more powerful than any negative ads his opponents can throw at him. All fat with their stripes. Come on now. LOOK AT THEM!
I can't believe the big bastard in the middle wasn't like, "Jesus dad, you're seriously talking about running for president. THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! And you're gonna let mom make us take this ridiculous picture? All the people at school will make fun of me! These stripes aren't slimming. Can't we at least wear black? Ok fine. But I'm warning you, if I have to wear this crappy shirt, and take this crappy picture, I'm gonna get back at you by killing a dog. You like that? We'll see what the voters think about that! You think you're gonna be "electable" with that hanging over your head? Asshole. Sexist."
I don't have too much to report other than the meteorological status of our island. Being off school is quite nice. I've been catching up on some reading, doing a little painting, donating my time to my favorite philanthropic organizations, and really working on reading for next semester's classes. And in case you didn't actually click on all the links, I'm actually eating, sleeping, shitting, and going on digg. Life is good.
I've also been watching a lot of news and I am really getting psyched about the presidential primaries. If you're wondering who I want to win, I'm rooting for anyone that is black. And if that doesn't happen, my next favorite choice is anyone that is a woman. Hopefully someone fitting those criteria will make it through the primaries. (Obama/Clinton 2008)
One person, however, I really, really hope DOESN'T win is a man named Mike Huckabee. He's running for the Republican nomination. I don't want him to win for many reasons, but here are the top 3.
1. He believes that "Women should submit to their husbands". I'm not going to say anything more than this - that is what everyone thought ONE THOUSAND YEARS AGO. If he were running one thousand years ago for political office, he may be running against David. As in David from the Bible. Not David my brother. Or David my father. David, the King of Israel.
2. Recent presidents haven't had the greatest luck with their children. The current Bush's daughters are drunks and miscreants. George H.W. Bush's son is the worst person since Hitler. Bill had Chelsea and that was Ok. But Mike Huckabee, well his son captured a dog, tortured it, and then murdered it. And then Mike Huckabee covered it all up. I just have one thing to say about this. Hey, Huckabee - Michael Vick called. He was asking if you can do anything for him, too. ZING!
3. Most importantly, this is a picture of his family.
This picture is more powerful than any negative ads his opponents can throw at him. All fat with their stripes. Come on now. LOOK AT THEM!
I can't believe the big bastard in the middle wasn't like, "Jesus dad, you're seriously talking about running for president. THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! And you're gonna let mom make us take this ridiculous picture? All the people at school will make fun of me! These stripes aren't slimming. Can't we at least wear black? Ok fine. But I'm warning you, if I have to wear this crappy shirt, and take this crappy picture, I'm gonna get back at you by killing a dog. You like that? We'll see what the voters think about that! You think you're gonna be "electable" with that hanging over your head? Asshole. Sexist."
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Wow!
So my finals are finally over and I now turn my undivided back to blogging for you all! That seriously sucked, all of those finals back to back to back to back to back. I was studying like 12 hours a day, everyday. However, I am now able to kick back for a few weeks and just chillax and get ready for semester two at Concordia. Enough of me bitching, though.
As I'm sure you all know, yesterday was a very important day. Among other things, it marked the anniversary of the day that the Bill of Rights took effect, Walt Disney died, and of course, the day that I was born. Yes, I am now a quarter of a century old!
My day went as such - I had a final (of course) and then Kathryn, Tara, and Steph took me downtown to get my drink on! We met up with Johnsy, Jen, Kat, Pookie, and my buddy Rob from school. It was a good time had by all, even when we were frozenly and drunkenly walking through downtown Montreal in search of the falafel place that's open until 4AM. So thank you to everyone who came out last night or called or emailed me to wish me a Happy Birthday. And thanks Mom and Dad for bringing me into this world.
Oh and it snowed like a dirty madman out there today. I'm going to take a picture of it with the sun's help tomorrow. I'll post it here, and then you will see how cold and crappy and soft and delicate snow is. Only then.
I was going to just keep it there and go to bed, but since it's been weeks since I've posted something of substance, I owe you all this. Plus, there is one thing that I've been wanting to blog about for like 3 weeks now, but I keep forgetting. Now's the time. I ain't forgetting anymore.
It all started when I was watching the news (I think it was CNN but it doesn't much matter) and Anne Lennox was on there talking about something or another. What I thought was interesting was how on the screen, it said -
Annie Lennox
Singer/ Musician
I thought to myself, "Why would they have to put that? Doesn't everyone know that she's a singer? Even if they don't know any of her songs, people still know that she's a singer. And if they don't, does that tiny little description do anything to give the viewer a clearer picture of the life and music of Ms. Lennox?" I don't think so, but that sent me down a path that I'm going to guide you all down now. It's an introspective into the art and science of the subtitles they put under people's names on the news.
I don't claim to have answers, only questions. But for now, I am claiming to have a serious case of needing some sleep. Goodnight all.
As I'm sure you all know, yesterday was a very important day. Among other things, it marked the anniversary of the day that the Bill of Rights took effect, Walt Disney died, and of course, the day that I was born. Yes, I am now a quarter of a century old!
My day went as such - I had a final (of course) and then Kathryn, Tara, and Steph took me downtown to get my drink on! We met up with Johnsy, Jen, Kat, Pookie, and my buddy Rob from school. It was a good time had by all, even when we were frozenly and drunkenly walking through downtown Montreal in search of the falafel place that's open until 4AM. So thank you to everyone who came out last night or called or emailed me to wish me a Happy Birthday. And thanks Mom and Dad for bringing me into this world.
Oh and it snowed like a dirty madman out there today. I'm going to take a picture of it with the sun's help tomorrow. I'll post it here, and then you will see how cold and crappy and soft and delicate snow is. Only then.
I was going to just keep it there and go to bed, but since it's been weeks since I've posted something of substance, I owe you all this. Plus, there is one thing that I've been wanting to blog about for like 3 weeks now, but I keep forgetting. Now's the time. I ain't forgetting anymore.
It all started when I was watching the news (I think it was CNN but it doesn't much matter) and Anne Lennox was on there talking about something or another. What I thought was interesting was how on the screen, it said -
Annie Lennox
Singer/ Musician
I thought to myself, "Why would they have to put that? Doesn't everyone know that she's a singer? Even if they don't know any of her songs, people still know that she's a singer. And if they don't, does that tiny little description do anything to give the viewer a clearer picture of the life and music of Ms. Lennox?" I don't think so, but that sent me down a path that I'm going to guide you all down now. It's an introspective into the art and science of the subtitles they put under people's names on the news.
- Annie Lennox (No Subtitle) Maybe they should just write the name of the person that is being interviewed and not bother with all that silly subtitle business. Unless they are some kind of specialist or someone that nobody would know, don't try and cram a person's life achievements into 2-5 word subtitles.
- Paul McCartney What's the subtitle there? "Paul McCartney - Former Beatle"? Because if you write that, you are basically saying, "We, as a collective organization known as CNN, feel that you all are functioning retards and we must tell you that Sir Paul was in fact, in a band called The Beatles." Or do you put "British Musician" or "& Wings" or "Animal Rights Activist"? Let's take that a little further, shall we?
- Michael Jackson What are we doing here? Following the Paul McCartney formula, it would be "Michael Jackson - Jackson 5". But that's a lllliiiiiittle bit off target, yeah? Do we go with "As creepy as he is now, you can't deny that Thriller was a badass record" or "Child Molester" or worse "Gary, Indiana Native"?
- Me What would I be if I was interviewed on CNN? Would I be the ever popular "Local Man"? Well I guess that depends on the location and nature of the interview. Would I be "Student"? Or maybe, since they were intrusive and mean when they flat out called Michael Jackson a child molester, they'd put under my name "Chubby Man" or even "Isn't as comfortable with his baldness as he wants to be"?
I don't claim to have answers, only questions. But for now, I am claiming to have a serious case of needing some sleep. Goodnight all.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
WTF?
Sorry I haven't posted in forever! I've been elbow-deep in books studying for my finals. I have one today (Thursday) and then one Saturday and then I'm free as a bird. So just ride out this last little wave of cramming with me preddy-puh-leeze and I'll get back to talking about how fat I am in an attempt to make you all laugh.
Oh and the Cubs signed Fukudome. Nothing says "we haven't won the World Series in literally one hundred years and need help from the Japanese" like spending $48 million dollars on a 30-year old Japanese guy coming off an elbow injury. As much as I like the whole thing, this begs the question - Mom, why didn't you raise me a Yankee fan?
Oh and the Cubs signed Fukudome. Nothing says "we haven't won the World Series in literally one hundred years and need help from the Japanese" like spending $48 million dollars on a 30-year old Japanese guy coming off an elbow injury. As much as I like the whole thing, this begs the question - Mom, why didn't you raise me a Yankee fan?
Friday, December 7, 2007
Finally!
Sorry I haven't posted in a while, everyone! It's been crazy with the finals over here. I'm goin' outta my flippin' mind. (Sounds better if you say it with a Bridgeport accent, {Oh and for my Canadian friends that don't know what Bridgeport is, just do a crappy New York accent.})
So, for anyone that doesn't know, my sister had her baby! Julian was born on December 4th and is beautiful. Kat and I will get to see him in 3 weeks and we are counting the days. Here's a picture of him.
I try to be very careful not to make other people's business too public on this here blog. Mostly this is out of respect for people's privacy. The reason I'm putting Julian's picture on here is quite simple though. Other than the fact he's on the internet in other places *coughMySpacecough*, he's too teenie-tiny and scrunched up of a little baby to keep this picture to myself. Je t'aime, Julian. Je t'aime!
Moving on to other business, I have a funny little story for you. Tonight at 7pm I had a final. Kat drove me and then went grocery shopping while I was taking it and picked me up after.
...On a side note, I could rant for weeks about how crappy my crappy computer class was. But I took the final earlier today and it's OVER! Thank God. Now, back to the story...
While we were driving home, she mentioned that she got me a surprise at the grocery store! I was quite happy and was licking my chops at the chocolate-crunchy-salty-melty-cheesy-Perriery delights that she must have gotten for me. After all, I love chocolate, potato chips, melted cheese, and Perrier. It must have been one of those, right? RIGHT?
WRONG!
While unpacking the groceries, she showed me the little bundle of surprise. T'was this:
Nothing says "I think you're fat and you drink too much pop" like a 250 ml (about 8.5 oz) little bottle of cola named Chubby. I love you too, Kathryn.
Also, I drank it fast and that's why it's empty in the picture. Just to prove a point. But actually because it was delish.
There is one more thing that has been really bothering me for a while. If you haven't played around with it, the little gadget on the left over there is called an artist quilt. If you hover your mouse over it, it'll name all the bands that I listen to. They get collected on this website Last.fm and then they are displayed here. It's really cool and anyone can say, "Woah! Bebo likes the band _______ (fill in the blank)."
But if you look at it long enough, you will see an anomaly. I do not like Arrested Development. Well, I do and that's why it's on there, but it's the wrong one. I watch TV shows on my iPod and they get counted on Last.fm just like songs. But Last.fm thinks I like Arrested Development the band.
They are known for their hit song "Tennessee". You all remember it! "Take me to a-nah-tha place. Take me to a-nah-tha land. Help me somethinnn somethinnn else. Cuz that guy Bebo sure is thaaaaa man." Well it goes something like that.
But I don't like the BAND Arrested Development! I like the now-canceled TV show Arrested Development.
It is known for being hilarious. So don't think I'm going through a 90's pop-culture afro-centric retro thing. I just like the show Arrested Development and I wish they would bring it back.
Back to reality now. In conclusion, thank you Chubby for an intense little expedition through the world of oddly-sized and oddly-named beverages, thank you Last.fm for making me embarrassed of my TV show watching habits, and most importantly thank you Angie for giving us all Julian!
So, for anyone that doesn't know, my sister had her baby! Julian was born on December 4th and is beautiful. Kat and I will get to see him in 3 weeks and we are counting the days. Here's a picture of him.
I try to be very careful not to make other people's business too public on this here blog. Mostly this is out of respect for people's privacy. The reason I'm putting Julian's picture on here is quite simple though. Other than the fact he's on the internet in other places *coughMySpacecough*, he's too teenie-tiny and scrunched up of a little baby to keep this picture to myself. Je t'aime, Julian. Je t'aime!
Moving on to other business, I have a funny little story for you. Tonight at 7pm I had a final. Kat drove me and then went grocery shopping while I was taking it and picked me up after.
...On a side note, I could rant for weeks about how crappy my crappy computer class was. But I took the final earlier today and it's OVER! Thank God. Now, back to the story...
While we were driving home, she mentioned that she got me a surprise at the grocery store! I was quite happy and was licking my chops at the chocolate-crunchy-salty-melty-cheesy-Perriery delights that she must have gotten for me. After all, I love chocolate, potato chips, melted cheese, and Perrier. It must have been one of those, right? RIGHT?
WRONG!
While unpacking the groceries, she showed me the little bundle of surprise. T'was this:
Nothing says "I think you're fat and you drink too much pop" like a 250 ml (about 8.5 oz) little bottle of cola named Chubby. I love you too, Kathryn.
Also, I drank it fast and that's why it's empty in the picture. Just to prove a point. But actually because it was delish.
There is one more thing that has been really bothering me for a while. If you haven't played around with it, the little gadget on the left over there is called an artist quilt. If you hover your mouse over it, it'll name all the bands that I listen to. They get collected on this website Last.fm and then they are displayed here. It's really cool and anyone can say, "Woah! Bebo likes the band _______ (fill in the blank)."
But if you look at it long enough, you will see an anomaly. I do not like Arrested Development. Well, I do and that's why it's on there, but it's the wrong one. I watch TV shows on my iPod and they get counted on Last.fm just like songs. But Last.fm thinks I like Arrested Development the band.
They are known for their hit song "Tennessee". You all remember it! "Take me to a-nah-tha place. Take me to a-nah-tha land. Help me somethinnn somethinnn else. Cuz that guy Bebo sure is thaaaaa man." Well it goes something like that.
But I don't like the BAND Arrested Development! I like the now-canceled TV show Arrested Development.
It is known for being hilarious. So don't think I'm going through a 90's pop-culture afro-centric retro thing. I just like the show Arrested Development and I wish they would bring it back.
Back to reality now. In conclusion, thank you Chubby for an intense little expedition through the world of oddly-sized and oddly-named beverages, thank you Last.fm for making me embarrassed of my TV show watching habits, and most importantly thank you Angie for giving us all Julian!
Monday, December 3, 2007
A funny realization.
So earlier today, Kat and I were having a little discussion about something-or-another, and it dawned on her that I am an immigrant. It was quite funny when she threatened to call the cops on me and have me deported for being a jerk to her. I was faking like I was appalled, but I found it funnier than she did because, frankly, I had never thought of it like that. It is the ultimate trump card for her though.
One possible conversation:
"Bebo, do the recycling." - Kat (even though she would never say this because she is the best)
"Baby I'm so busy doing homework. I'll do it tomorrow or in January. Whichever doesn't come first." - Bebo while watching YouTube video of kid falling off slide for the 40th time
"What's the number for CIC?" - Empowered Kat
"Shall I do the dishes as well?" - Dejected Bebo, concerned for his personal security and safety
It was hilarious. And before you ask, YES she was joking.
My sister is gong to give us just what our family thrives on - a December baby! Unless she's game for waiting it out 4 more weeks.
Oh and finals start this week! Wish me luck everyone. More than that, wish me answers to questions. Specifically in the realm of Critical Business Thinking. And by wish me the answers, I mean tell me the answers.
One possible conversation:
"Bebo, do the recycling." - Kat (even though she would never say this because she is the best)
"Baby I'm so busy doing homework. I'll do it tomorrow or in January. Whichever doesn't come first." - Bebo while watching YouTube video of kid falling off slide for the 40th time
"What's the number for CIC?" - Empowered Kat
"Shall I do the dishes as well?" - Dejected Bebo, concerned for his personal security and safety
It was hilarious. And before you ask, YES she was joking.
My sister is gong to give us just what our family thrives on - a December baby! Unless she's game for waiting it out 4 more weeks.
Oh and finals start this week! Wish me luck everyone. More than that, wish me answers to questions. Specifically in the realm of Critical Business Thinking. And by wish me the answers, I mean tell me the answers.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Photoshop.
So lately I've been really wanting to make my own template for my blog. Like all the buttons and the background and everything. Right now, even though I have adjusted it a good bit, it's a template that I picked from a big stack when I created this blog. I like it, but it's not ME.
To further go down this path of making my own unique blog page, I had two choices.
1) Kindly ask my girlfriend who makes extremely awesome websites in her (very limited) spare time to make something for me.
or
2) Learn how to use a few VERY difficult programs like Photoshop and Illustrator. Also, I would have to keep up my grades and there are finals coming soon and I've been sleeping very oddly lately and.... well you get the picture.
The obvious answer is #1 - ask Kat. So that is why I am going with #2. Because I like doing things the complicated and randomly unnecessarily wrong way.
Step 1 of making a new website - On to Photoshop!
Photoshop is an extremely powerful tool that lets people do basically anything they want to a picture. It has transformed the magazine business and has basically made any picture you look at fake. And any time you see and image and you think that it is real, just ask yourself, "Did they REALLY blow up the Death Star?"
Before I show you all my first foray into the land of digital photo editing, I would like to show you, very quickly, what this tool does in the hands of professionals (that's what she said).
(SOURCE)
Truly amazing.
Now, let's see what happens when you put that same sweet digital photo-enhancing wonder in front of me.
You think I'm joking about the BeboRobot? It's not a game right now.
Thank you and good night.
To further go down this path of making my own unique blog page, I had two choices.
1) Kindly ask my girlfriend who makes extremely awesome websites in her (very limited) spare time to make something for me.
or
2) Learn how to use a few VERY difficult programs like Photoshop and Illustrator. Also, I would have to keep up my grades and there are finals coming soon and I've been sleeping very oddly lately and.... well you get the picture.
The obvious answer is #1 - ask Kat. So that is why I am going with #2. Because I like doing things the complicated and randomly unnecessarily wrong way.
Step 1 of making a new website - On to Photoshop!
Photoshop is an extremely powerful tool that lets people do basically anything they want to a picture. It has transformed the magazine business and has basically made any picture you look at fake. And any time you see and image and you think that it is real, just ask yourself, "Did they REALLY blow up the Death Star?"
Before I show you all my first foray into the land of digital photo editing, I would like to show you, very quickly, what this tool does in the hands of professionals (that's what she said).
(SOURCE)
Truly amazing.
Now, let's see what happens when you put that same sweet digital photo-enhancing wonder in front of me.
You think I'm joking about the BeboRobot? It's not a game right now.
Thank you and good night.
Monday, November 26, 2007
You must be a tourist.
Sunday, Kat and I decided to go out for a little cruise around Montreal. I've lived here for about 3 1/2 months and there are many thing I still haven't seen. I know the area around my school very well, and obviously the neighborhood we live in, but there are large chunks of the island I've yet to see.
I invite you to come on a mini-tour with me. Filled with wonder and passion. Danger around every corner. Asians with cameras! Come now, shall we?
Driving to the east end of Montreal, there is a gigantic green orb perched on the side of the mountain. It is Saint Joseph's Oratory.
(SOURCE)
Like the Sears Tower, you can see it from far away and it is cool. As you drive further east, another monster looms out from behind the buildings and trees. It is the Olympic Stadium.
(SOURCE)
It is where the Expos used to play. It is truly a magnificent sight.
I didn't take either of the above two photos, I just google-jacked 'em. I just wanted to give you an all-encompassing journey through our Sunday. So after the stadium, we head south. We cross the bridge and pull off to take pictures of the whole island. Kat and I got some really cool ones.
You can click on them for a bigger size. So now comes the fun part. We are driving up to the spot where we took these pictures and its really secluded. It's snowy and cold and a Sunday on an almost deserted island. Well the island isn't really deserted - there's an amusement park and a casino there. But right then it was deserted. Or so I thought.
So Kat pulls off into this snowy parking lot kind of thing, and sure enough, there is a busload of Asian tourists taking pictures of everything in sight. It was quite funny and Kat got this nice picture of the bridge with some of our friends in it.
The truth is that I am no different than them. We were driving around Montreal so I could take pictures. Well except that we weren't on a chartered bus. And there isn't this long standing stereotype that fat Americans and their Canadian girlfriends compulsively take pictures. Or is there?
The last stop was this gigantic metal sphere thing. The funny thing about it is your insticnts ruin the picture. Instinctively, you get closer to something you are going to photograph. And if the thing is small, you are a better person for having done that. Compare that to something that is, say, huge and cloaked in trees. Then you just get twigs and metal bars and a Canadian flag.
As I was taking this picture, the unmistakable rumble of a diesel engine started to get louder as a bus of our Asian friends drove up, point-blank, to the large metal dome. I bet their pictures SUCKED!
I invite you to come on a mini-tour with me. Filled with wonder and passion. Danger around every corner. Asians with cameras! Come now, shall we?
Driving to the east end of Montreal, there is a gigantic green orb perched on the side of the mountain. It is Saint Joseph's Oratory.
(SOURCE)
Like the Sears Tower, you can see it from far away and it is cool. As you drive further east, another monster looms out from behind the buildings and trees. It is the Olympic Stadium.
(SOURCE)
It is where the Expos used to play. It is truly a magnificent sight.
I didn't take either of the above two photos, I just google-jacked 'em. I just wanted to give you an all-encompassing journey through our Sunday. So after the stadium, we head south. We cross the bridge and pull off to take pictures of the whole island. Kat and I got some really cool ones.
You can click on them for a bigger size. So now comes the fun part. We are driving up to the spot where we took these pictures and its really secluded. It's snowy and cold and a Sunday on an almost deserted island. Well the island isn't really deserted - there's an amusement park and a casino there. But right then it was deserted. Or so I thought.
So Kat pulls off into this snowy parking lot kind of thing, and sure enough, there is a busload of Asian tourists taking pictures of everything in sight. It was quite funny and Kat got this nice picture of the bridge with some of our friends in it.
The truth is that I am no different than them. We were driving around Montreal so I could take pictures. Well except that we weren't on a chartered bus. And there isn't this long standing stereotype that fat Americans and their Canadian girlfriends compulsively take pictures. Or is there?
The last stop was this gigantic metal sphere thing. The funny thing about it is your insticnts ruin the picture. Instinctively, you get closer to something you are going to photograph. And if the thing is small, you are a better person for having done that. Compare that to something that is, say, huge and cloaked in trees. Then you just get twigs and metal bars and a Canadian flag.
As I was taking this picture, the unmistakable rumble of a diesel engine started to get louder as a bus of our Asian friends drove up, point-blank, to the large metal dome. I bet their pictures SUCKED!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Crunch time.
Things have been getting close to GO time. There is only one more week of school for me, only one month to get your Christmas shopping done, and oh yeah my sister is days, if not hours, away from having a baby! On top of all of that, it's been COLD out. Like "Oh shit I really do live in Canada" cold. But that is the path I have chosen.
Friday I had to give my group presentation and we KILLED. The mini-U.N. as I have dubbed us, gave a coherent presentation about Tim Hortons and I was very proud. In addition to our speech, Tony, the Chinese guy I told you about HERE, got to experience a great first that I was a part of. Let me explain.
As the groups were presenting (we had to do a 10 minute group speech about any company - we chose Tim Hortons) many gave samples of products. A group that did Second Cup gave away coffee, the group that did Hershey's gave away Kisses, and the group that did Molson gave away beer. Yes, at noon, in an accredited university in a democratic country in North America, beer was given away.
The group poured it into little cups and people could take as much as they wanted. I had a cup and immediately wished that this group had gone first as the beer was quite warm by then. Well Tony got himself a lil' cup of beer and had a gigantic grin walking back to his desk. He told me that he's never had beer before but always wanted to try it.
Fast-forward a few minutes to the group giving their presentation and I watch as Tony takes his little cup, places it against his lips, throws his neck back violently and dumps 8-10 ounces of warm Molson down his throat. I stared on in horror as he cringed his face up and shouted, "AHHHHHHH I DID NOT LIKE IT!" The group stopped presenting and everyone stared at him as he shook out the disgust. Truly a hilarious moment.
One interesting fact to note. It isn't totally random that the group presented Molson Beer - We are all in the John Molson School of Business at Concordia University. It is named after the man that invented Molson beer. - John Molson.
Friday I had to give my group presentation and we KILLED. The mini-U.N. as I have dubbed us, gave a coherent presentation about Tim Hortons and I was very proud. In addition to our speech, Tony, the Chinese guy I told you about HERE, got to experience a great first that I was a part of. Let me explain.
As the groups were presenting (we had to do a 10 minute group speech about any company - we chose Tim Hortons) many gave samples of products. A group that did Second Cup gave away coffee, the group that did Hershey's gave away Kisses, and the group that did Molson gave away beer. Yes, at noon, in an accredited university in a democratic country in North America, beer was given away.
The group poured it into little cups and people could take as much as they wanted. I had a cup and immediately wished that this group had gone first as the beer was quite warm by then. Well Tony got himself a lil' cup of beer and had a gigantic grin walking back to his desk. He told me that he's never had beer before but always wanted to try it.
Fast-forward a few minutes to the group giving their presentation and I watch as Tony takes his little cup, places it against his lips, throws his neck back violently and dumps 8-10 ounces of warm Molson down his throat. I stared on in horror as he cringed his face up and shouted, "AHHHHHHH I DID NOT LIKE IT!" The group stopped presenting and everyone stared at him as he shook out the disgust. Truly a hilarious moment.
One interesting fact to note. It isn't totally random that the group presented Molson Beer - We are all in the John Molson School of Business at Concordia University. It is named after the man that invented Molson beer. - John Molson.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanksgiving.
So here we are. Another Thanksgiving has come and gone. Although it wasn't very traditional here in Montreal (we didn't roast a turkey and Kat had to work) it still felt how I wanted it to. Kathryn and I had a great time together and I got to talk to my family on the phone. I cooked a grand feast and it was just what I wanted.
Some highlights:
The French on the Tofurkey.
It was a festin fit for a roi.
The snowy backdrop to a late-autumn holiday.
Oh and still no wolf blanket! (I know it's getting old now. I'll stop soon.)
The dinner spread I spent all day in front of a hot stove making.
The spread basically looked the same after we ate because, as Kathryn told me many times, "There's only two of us!" And it turns out that she's right. I counted myself twice because I was by a mirror and I got confused.
It's tradition in my household that on Thanksgiving we go around the table and say what we are thankful for. Far be it for me to let 850 miles and the Boarder Patrol get in the way of tradition, so here goes.
I'm thankful for...
The greatest girlfriend in the whole world that is also my best friend and my biggest fan. She laughs at all my dumb jokes even when they aren't funny and she understands me better than I do myself. I barely deserve her, but don't tell her that! I LOVE YOU BABY!
My mother has a heart the size of most African nations' GDPs and she taught me how to love and laugh and how to treat people and I'll always be her little baby.
I have a sister that is the strongest, most beautiful person a boy could have as a big sister and she has blessed us all with the cutest baby in the whole world.
My mentor and role model and inspiration and best friend in the whole world is my brother. One day I'll step out of his gigantic shadow and make him as proud of me as I am of him.
I have a father that works like a dog at a job he hates to give my brother, sister, and me a fighting chance in this world. He is my hero and I love him.
There are many other things that I am thankful for, but those are the most important to me right now. After a month of B.S. posts, you had to know a mushy one was coming soon enough, right?
Some highlights:
The French on the Tofurkey.
It was a festin fit for a roi.
The snowy backdrop to a late-autumn holiday.
Oh and still no wolf blanket! (I know it's getting old now. I'll stop soon.)
The dinner spread I spent all day in front of a hot stove making.
The spread basically looked the same after we ate because, as Kathryn told me many times, "There's only two of us!" And it turns out that she's right. I counted myself twice because I was by a mirror and I got confused.
It's tradition in my household that on Thanksgiving we go around the table and say what we are thankful for. Far be it for me to let 850 miles and the Boarder Patrol get in the way of tradition, so here goes.
I'm thankful for...
The greatest girlfriend in the whole world that is also my best friend and my biggest fan. She laughs at all my dumb jokes even when they aren't funny and she understands me better than I do myself. I barely deserve her, but don't tell her that! I LOVE YOU BABY!
My mother has a heart the size of most African nations' GDPs and she taught me how to love and laugh and how to treat people and I'll always be her little baby.
I have a sister that is the strongest, most beautiful person a boy could have as a big sister and she has blessed us all with the cutest baby in the whole world.
My mentor and role model and inspiration and best friend in the whole world is my brother. One day I'll step out of his gigantic shadow and make him as proud of me as I am of him.
I have a father that works like a dog at a job he hates to give my brother, sister, and me a fighting chance in this world. He is my hero and I love him.
There are many other things that I am thankful for, but those are the most important to me right now. After a month of B.S. posts, you had to know a mushy one was coming soon enough, right?
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
So last night I watched the finale of The Bachelor.
As most of you know, in Canada they have Thanksgiving much earlier than in America. It is the second Monday in October and this year was on October 8th. Ironically enough, Kathryn and I went to Chicago for Canadian Thanksgiving and we will be in Montreal on American Thanksgiving.
But we will not wallow around in late-autumn Thursdayness! Thanks to my parents and certain Canadian grocers, I am armed with an arsenal of vegetarian-friendly Thanksgiving recipes and goods.
Yes, we will be having an honest-to-goodness fat-ass American Thanksgiving right here in the great white north. We went shopping earlier and are ready to get our grub on. While shopping earlier, Kat kept saying, "Why are you buying so much food? There's only two of us." Two, indeed. Unfortunately for both of us, one of us happens to be a fat American.
Tomorrow night I have to prep the potatoes and then Thursday I'm ditching class to cook and eat and watch football and eat more and just have a grand day.
I'll keep you all informed as things shake out.
Oh and a quick note on the title. I haven't seen a full episode of the show ever and I NEVER watch it, but I really did watch The Bachelor last night. There was this surprise ending and it was all really crappy. AND I was reading a magazine throughout the show (really I was). So today, I turn to Kat and say "So last night I watched the finale of The Bachelor..." and she laughed very hard right in my face. For like 3 minutes. And then she said, "That should be the title of your next blog." And here we are.
'Til then...
But we will not wallow around in late-autumn Thursdayness! Thanks to my parents and certain Canadian grocers, I am armed with an arsenal of vegetarian-friendly Thanksgiving recipes and goods.
Yes, we will be having an honest-to-goodness fat-ass American Thanksgiving right here in the great white north. We went shopping earlier and are ready to get our grub on. While shopping earlier, Kat kept saying, "Why are you buying so much food? There's only two of us." Two, indeed. Unfortunately for both of us, one of us happens to be a fat American.
Tomorrow night I have to prep the potatoes and then Thursday I'm ditching class to cook and eat and watch football and eat more and just have a grand day.
I'll keep you all informed as things shake out.
Oh and a quick note on the title. I haven't seen a full episode of the show ever and I NEVER watch it, but I really did watch The Bachelor last night. There was this surprise ending and it was all really crappy. AND I was reading a magazine throughout the show (really I was). So today, I turn to Kat and say "So last night I watched the finale of The Bachelor..." and she laughed very hard right in my face. For like 3 minutes. And then she said, "That should be the title of your next blog." And here we are.
'Til then...
Sunday, November 18, 2007
My thoughts on Starbucks.
Let me say that I love Starbucks coffee. Well, really their Iced Americanos. And I feel that Starbucks is a good company. They haven't changed their approach to doing things, they have raised the quality and people's expectations of coffee, and they are an American company that the world has a positive opinion of (i.e. NOT Wal-Mart).
But that doesn't mean that going to Starbucks to get coffee is always a pleasant experience. In fact, according to a very unscientific study taken today by a certain fat American man living in Montreal, Starbucks can sometimes be downright unpleasant! In all, I found it to be offensive to 3 of my 5 senses. Let me explain.
The 2 good ones:
- Taste. I love Iced Americanos, so they rank high in taste. Easy enough.
- Smell. This is only because 75% of taste comes from our sense of smell. Otherwise, this would be lower on the list.
The senses that were attacked by the Starbucks in Fairview mall:
- Sight. This was an unpleasant trip for my eyes because in general, people are kind of creepy. Take that to the next step and say that the people in a mall on a Sunday 10 minutes before closing aren't the best control group for a study on beauty. In the feng shui of people, they are the milk crates stacked up for end tables.
- Sound. Through a recent partnership between Apple and Starbucks, the iPhone and iPod Touch will be able to download music from the Starbucks you're in. Say you're in a Starbucks and you like a song that is playing through an overhead speaker, it will show right up on your iPod so you can download it for $.99
This is great, except that every single song that I have ever heard in a Starbucks has been horrible.
I rate bad music in my head by 1 of 2 scales. Either there is the playcount scale or there is the timer scale. The basis of either of these is how long you can listen to a song or genre or artist before you want to run away.
Examples:
This scores in the "Less than 1 Playcount and Under 1 Minute total time" zone of the scale. This means that the maximum I can listen to this is less than one complete play through and less than one minute. Bad either way.
This, on the other hand, would be in the "5 to 6 consecutive plays or 25-30 minute range" before I was done.
Get the basics of the scale? I hope so.
Anything I've ever heard at Starbucks has been in the "Instantly Done" category. As in STOP. So why would I want to download these songs? Moreover, why would I pay for them?
- Touch. This is directed at one man in particular. If I knew his name, I'd tell you so you could warn your friends about him. I don't though, so this will have to do: tall, dorky, French, and has one very bad habit.
"Oh God, Bebo, just tell me what is his bad habit!" you may be saying right now. Calm down.
Let me put it this way: If you are in a line (or as the Brits call them, queues) and you drop something, don't just bend over and grab it. Turn 90 degrees, check to make sure that you won't rub your French ass on people, then bend down to grab whatever it is you may have dropped. In the very unlikely situation that you cannot turn 90 degrees, then at least bend at the knees and not the waist. You, my coffee-drinking French companion of Starbuckery, have been blessed. You have been given the gift of having more than one moving joint on your body. See diagram :
Human Being (Many Joints)
(source)
Dunking Bird (One Joint)
(source)
See the difference?
But that doesn't mean that going to Starbucks to get coffee is always a pleasant experience. In fact, according to a very unscientific study taken today by a certain fat American man living in Montreal, Starbucks can sometimes be downright unpleasant! In all, I found it to be offensive to 3 of my 5 senses. Let me explain.
The 2 good ones:
- Taste. I love Iced Americanos, so they rank high in taste. Easy enough.
- Smell. This is only because 75% of taste comes from our sense of smell. Otherwise, this would be lower on the list.
The senses that were attacked by the Starbucks in Fairview mall:
- Sight. This was an unpleasant trip for my eyes because in general, people are kind of creepy. Take that to the next step and say that the people in a mall on a Sunday 10 minutes before closing aren't the best control group for a study on beauty. In the feng shui of people, they are the milk crates stacked up for end tables.
- Sound. Through a recent partnership between Apple and Starbucks, the iPhone and iPod Touch will be able to download music from the Starbucks you're in. Say you're in a Starbucks and you like a song that is playing through an overhead speaker, it will show right up on your iPod so you can download it for $.99
This is great, except that every single song that I have ever heard in a Starbucks has been horrible.
I rate bad music in my head by 1 of 2 scales. Either there is the playcount scale or there is the timer scale. The basis of either of these is how long you can listen to a song or genre or artist before you want to run away.
Examples:
This scores in the "Less than 1 Playcount and Under 1 Minute total time" zone of the scale. This means that the maximum I can listen to this is less than one complete play through and less than one minute. Bad either way.
This, on the other hand, would be in the "5 to 6 consecutive plays or 25-30 minute range" before I was done.
Get the basics of the scale? I hope so.
Anything I've ever heard at Starbucks has been in the "Instantly Done" category. As in STOP. So why would I want to download these songs? Moreover, why would I pay for them?
- Touch. This is directed at one man in particular. If I knew his name, I'd tell you so you could warn your friends about him. I don't though, so this will have to do: tall, dorky, French, and has one very bad habit.
"Oh God, Bebo, just tell me what is his bad habit!" you may be saying right now. Calm down.
Let me put it this way: If you are in a line (or as the Brits call them, queues) and you drop something, don't just bend over and grab it. Turn 90 degrees, check to make sure that you won't rub your French ass on people, then bend down to grab whatever it is you may have dropped. In the very unlikely situation that you cannot turn 90 degrees, then at least bend at the knees and not the waist. You, my coffee-drinking French companion of Starbuckery, have been blessed. You have been given the gift of having more than one moving joint on your body. See diagram :
Human Being (Many Joints)
(source)
Dunking Bird (One Joint)
(source)
See the difference?
It's all good.
I feel that I don't put enough personal stuff on here so I am going to try to let my peeps in on my biz-nass. I don't want to lose my humorous posts though, so I will try and strike a balance. I will also try to post once a day. At least, I'll not go two consecutive days without some new stuff. Don't be afraid to comment, either. I'll do better to keep banter going on that front.
So it's about 3 AM early Sunday and I feel good. Kathryn and I had a wonderful day. She woke up at 10 when my alarm went off many times and I kept slapping my nightstand and phone and book and iPod and glasses and everything else except the alarm. I slept until much later. We watched some movies, ate some Thai food, and I drank Perrier from a can! Yes, I have developed a small obsession with Perrier. Am I a dirty Euro-trash mineral water drinking jackass? Not yet. I'm still too fat.
So it's about 3 AM early Sunday and I feel good. Kathryn and I had a wonderful day. She woke up at 10 when my alarm went off many times and I kept slapping my nightstand and phone and book and iPod and glasses and everything else except the alarm. I slept until much later. We watched some movies, ate some Thai food, and I drank Perrier from a can! Yes, I have developed a small obsession with Perrier. Am I a dirty Euro-trash mineral water drinking jackass? Not yet. I'm still too fat.
Friday, November 16, 2007
The web. Again.
With regard to my critically acclaimed, oft-cited, pioneering article on the websites I like, I will give you all a few more nuggets of the internet with which you may cleanse your palette.
1) 43 Things. Basically you make a pledge to yourself to do 43 things. You don't have to pick 43, you can just do 5 or how many ever you wish. You can also learn a lot about different cool stuff. Fun.
2) Chicagoist. A cool little news roundup from my motherland (and the land of my mother!). Also links along the top to similar sites of the crappy places of the world. Houstonist? Shanghaiist? Come on now, people.
3) Shirt Woot. Like Woot, every day at midnight they roll out a new product. They are American Apparel shirts with really cool or funny designs on them. $10.
4) RCRD LBL. This is a new site that is kind of like a music discovery site. All free (and legal!) mp3's for download. I'll be checkin it out free-quently! HAHA get it? Free... BAH.
5) I Can Has Cheezburger. Confession. I think these are absolutely hysterical. And Kathryn hates me for it. They deal is there are these things called Lolcats. You either love them or hate them. Also there is a spin off of Lolcats is a Lolrus who is apparently in constant search for a bucket. God, I feel like a tool after talking about all that.
6) Concordia University. This is where I go to school. Well not the website. I go to the campus in downtown Montreal. What, did you think I go to school IN the website? What do I look like? The guy from Tron? Well if I did, it'd probably be less like the real Tron guy
(source)
and more like this fat Tron guy
(source)
1) 43 Things. Basically you make a pledge to yourself to do 43 things. You don't have to pick 43, you can just do 5 or how many ever you wish. You can also learn a lot about different cool stuff. Fun.
2) Chicagoist. A cool little news roundup from my motherland (and the land of my mother!). Also links along the top to similar sites of the crappy places of the world. Houstonist? Shanghaiist? Come on now, people.
3) Shirt Woot. Like Woot, every day at midnight they roll out a new product. They are American Apparel shirts with really cool or funny designs on them. $10.
4) RCRD LBL. This is a new site that is kind of like a music discovery site. All free (and legal!) mp3's for download. I'll be checkin it out free-quently! HAHA get it? Free... BAH.
5) I Can Has Cheezburger. Confession. I think these are absolutely hysterical. And Kathryn hates me for it. They deal is there are these things called Lolcats. You either love them or hate them. Also there is a spin off of Lolcats is a Lolrus who is apparently in constant search for a bucket. God, I feel like a tool after talking about all that.
6) Concordia University. This is where I go to school. Well not the website. I go to the campus in downtown Montreal. What, did you think I go to school IN the website? What do I look like? The guy from Tron? Well if I did, it'd probably be less like the real Tron guy
(source)
and more like this fat Tron guy
(source)
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
The open letter.
Ahh the open letter. Nothing says "I'm planning on insulting you in a humorous and anonymous way with a splash of sarcasm to boot" quite like it. Without further ado...
AN OPEN LETTER
...to people on public transportation everywhere -
Smile. Just a little. Life isn't that bad, is it? Oh and don't worry about showering or being an odd Pakistani with bad teeth staring at me. That part is all good.
...to my iPod touch -
Je t'aime.
...to my horrible picture-taking skills -
Hey, you do well enough to get by. Don't let them get you down!
...to people I am forced to be in groups with this semester -
Don't bother doing work. I'll get that all done. Oh and thank you for not speaking English. Our group speech will be much richer because of it. And also you can't say "Fucking time Horton" in the speech. Just say "Tim Horton's." Not time. Tim.
...to Ted Nugent -
You still around? If so, then die. If not, then thank God.
...to French people -
The glasses you wear are ridiculous. I have scoured the internet for a good example and there just isn't one in 0's and 1's yet. Y'all are just gonna have to believe me that French people wear the most nasty, busted-ass glasses. The only example I can give:
French -
(source)
Note the two-pronged attack where the arms begin that is so prevalent. And where they converge, we have a nice little treat! Some lime-ass-green.
English -
(source)
What? Where's the arms and colors and randomness? Just some glasses? Bah.
...to OJ -
You murdered two people and got away with it! And now your dumb ass is going to jail for an autographed football.
...to the dancing Indian boy -
Keep fighting the good fight.
...to the guy on the couch in the video above -
You are FREAKING everyone out.
...to the brains behind Chinese Buffet Fu Lam in Dollard-des-Ormeaux -
Occasionally we all feel that tap on the shoulder and whisper in the ear that is a great idea. Is it God? Is it the ghost of Leonardo da Vinci? Is it sheer random dumb luck? Could be one; could be all. What matters most isn't the source of our muse, but how we use it to make the Earth a better place. And you, my Chinese friend(s), have done just that. You took the mundane broccoli and made it a medley of broccoli, odd juices, and random chunks of indiscernible meat. Where others see green beans, you have the stugots to say "those beans need to have vomit-inducing octopus tentacles in them!" Even though as a vegetarian I am completely disgusted, it isn't because you are vile beyond words. It is because I didn't think of it first.
Not really. That's seriously disgusting.
(Side note. In the link for the buffet, why are there 4 stars for service? IT'S A BUFFET! Unless this is some kind of egotistical vote, I have lost hope in the internet and its ability to fairly and objectively rate a local dining establishment.)
...to the bastard -
Put the damned wolf blanket back. Please?
AN OPEN LETTER
...to people on public transportation everywhere -
Smile. Just a little. Life isn't that bad, is it? Oh and don't worry about showering or being an odd Pakistani with bad teeth staring at me. That part is all good.
...to my iPod touch -
Je t'aime.
...to my horrible picture-taking skills -
Hey, you do well enough to get by. Don't let them get you down!
...to people I am forced to be in groups with this semester -
Don't bother doing work. I'll get that all done. Oh and thank you for not speaking English. Our group speech will be much richer because of it. And also you can't say "Fucking time Horton" in the speech. Just say "Tim Horton's." Not time. Tim.
...to Ted Nugent -
You still around? If so, then die. If not, then thank God.
...to French people -
The glasses you wear are ridiculous. I have scoured the internet for a good example and there just isn't one in 0's and 1's yet. Y'all are just gonna have to believe me that French people wear the most nasty, busted-ass glasses. The only example I can give:
French -
(source)
Note the two-pronged attack where the arms begin that is so prevalent. And where they converge, we have a nice little treat! Some lime-ass-green.
English -
(source)
What? Where's the arms and colors and randomness? Just some glasses? Bah.
...to OJ -
You murdered two people and got away with it! And now your dumb ass is going to jail for an autographed football.
...to the dancing Indian boy -
Keep fighting the good fight.
...to the guy on the couch in the video above -
You are FREAKING everyone out.
...to the brains behind Chinese Buffet Fu Lam in Dollard-des-Ormeaux -
Occasionally we all feel that tap on the shoulder and whisper in the ear that is a great idea. Is it God? Is it the ghost of Leonardo da Vinci? Is it sheer random dumb luck? Could be one; could be all. What matters most isn't the source of our muse, but how we use it to make the Earth a better place. And you, my Chinese friend(s), have done just that. You took the mundane broccoli and made it a medley of broccoli, odd juices, and random chunks of indiscernible meat. Where others see green beans, you have the stugots to say "those beans need to have vomit-inducing octopus tentacles in them!" Even though as a vegetarian I am completely disgusted, it isn't because you are vile beyond words. It is because I didn't think of it first.
Not really. That's seriously disgusting.
(Side note. In the link for the buffet, why are there 4 stars for service? IT'S A BUFFET! Unless this is some kind of egotistical vote, I have lost hope in the internet and its ability to fairly and objectively rate a local dining establishment.)
...to the bastard -
Put the damned wolf blanket back. Please?
Monday, November 12, 2007
The iPod.
So I'm officially a cool kid. I have a shiny new iPod Touch!
(source)
It's basically the coolest thing I've ever had. While some may disagree (sorry Mickey) it's Apple's way of saying "Sorry other countries, but you won't be getting the iPhone. Here's the next best thing."
As to how I got it, let's just say that if anyone asks about me, my name is Julio and you haven't seen me for like, at LEAST 6 months. Not really but that sounds like I am a total badass.
That's all for now. I'm going to play with my new iPod for the next several hours and I'll try and post something more original and comical, hopefully with pictures, in the next day or so. I just don't want to wait too long in between posts or else people forget about me.
Until then, in honor of my girlfriend liking pierogies more than The Godfather :
(source)
It's basically the coolest thing I've ever had. While some may disagree (sorry Mickey) it's Apple's way of saying "Sorry other countries, but you won't be getting the iPhone. Here's the next best thing."
As to how I got it, let's just say that if anyone asks about me, my name is Julio and you haven't seen me for like, at LEAST 6 months. Not really but that sounds like I am a total badass.
That's all for now. I'm going to play with my new iPod for the next several hours and I'll try and post something more original and comical, hopefully with pictures, in the next day or so. I just don't want to wait too long in between posts or else people forget about me.
Until then, in honor of my girlfriend liking pierogies more than The Godfather :
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Anatomy of a procrastination.
This may come as a shock to most of you, but I am in fact a procrastinator. This will occasionally get in the way of me doing things that I should. Take tonight for example:
11:00 - "Goodnight Kathryn! I'm going to work on my paper! I was going to work on it this Sunday but I'll go ahead and get a nice head start! I'm GREAT and PRODUCTIVE!"
11:10 - "Now that my email is all checked and I got all my books and everything, I'll sit down and start-a-writin!"
11:15 - "You know what I haven't had in a while? Some nice tea! Well that's probably because I kind of hate hot tea, but now seems as good a time as any to start up a nice lil' cup, yeah?"
11:18 - "Damn that tea is hot! I'll sit here and blow on it for 3 minutes instead of writing while the law of thermodynamics about heat being pulled into the air and getting turned into unavailable energy and all that gets it's groove on. No I'll just blow on it. For the next 3 minutes."
11:21 - "I think it's cooled off enough now to get a little taste. Annnnnnnndddddd - wow hot tea is kinda nasty. It would be much more to my liking if it was coffee. Now it's a time to get my write on."
11:45 - "Damn Food Network sucks at night!"
12:03 - "I think I'll have some chocolate cake to get the ol' battery charged up for a little wright-fest. Wow Wright is the name of the people that first flew. I was just on an airplane."
12:10 - "Got my cake on, got my water on, now it's time to get my Herzberg on."
I haven't yet told you all about the topic of my paper. I shit you not - "How to Motivate Employees." Never say I don't understand irony.
Soon thereafter, I write the 3 page paper I have been dreading and stressing about for the last 7 weeks. An hour later, it was finished. I wonder what would happen if I just got shit done in the rest of my life? What would I be like?
(source)
Fuck it. Where's the rest of the chocolate cake?
11:00 - "Goodnight Kathryn! I'm going to work on my paper! I was going to work on it this Sunday but I'll go ahead and get a nice head start! I'm GREAT and PRODUCTIVE!"
11:10 - "Now that my email is all checked and I got all my books and everything, I'll sit down and start-a-writin!"
11:15 - "You know what I haven't had in a while? Some nice tea! Well that's probably because I kind of hate hot tea, but now seems as good a time as any to start up a nice lil' cup, yeah?"
11:18 - "Damn that tea is hot! I'll sit here and blow on it for 3 minutes instead of writing while the law of thermodynamics about heat being pulled into the air and getting turned into unavailable energy and all that gets it's groove on. No I'll just blow on it. For the next 3 minutes."
11:21 - "I think it's cooled off enough now to get a little taste. Annnnnnnndddddd - wow hot tea is kinda nasty. It would be much more to my liking if it was coffee. Now it's a time to get my write on."
11:45 - "Damn Food Network sucks at night!"
12:03 - "I think I'll have some chocolate cake to get the ol' battery charged up for a little wright-fest. Wow Wright is the name of the people that first flew. I was just on an airplane."
12:10 - "Got my cake on, got my water on, now it's time to get my Herzberg on."
I haven't yet told you all about the topic of my paper. I shit you not - "How to Motivate Employees." Never say I don't understand irony.
Soon thereafter, I write the 3 page paper I have been dreading and stressing about for the last 7 weeks. An hour later, it was finished. I wonder what would happen if I just got shit done in the rest of my life? What would I be like?
(source)
Fuck it. Where's the rest of the chocolate cake?
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
The update. (As promised)
I don't want this to be too negative or sound like I'm fuming about it or anything. I'm more disappointed.
Doesn't it seem like every time you have something good in your life some jackass comes and rips it away? I don't mean anything big, but the little things.
When you get a good spot on the bus, some old bastard hobbles over and waits for you to get up.
If you stay up late to watch Letterman, it's a rerun.
Or, say you build a Death Star. Some bastard comes along and blows it up. And maybe Darth Vader and the Emperor REALLY liked the Death Star. Like the two of them and their friends would laugh about it and then make plans to use it in all different sorts of ways. It wasn't evil. It was just funny.
Well the son of a bitch Skywalker that I estimate to live in about 1F came along and dropped a bomb on us all. Maybe it's because the winter, maybe because he read this and got embarrassed, but the reason is not important. This is what I came back to Montreal to find.
Yes the wolf blanket is gone. For all the uglyness it brought to that courtyard, it brought much more joy to our hearts and lives. I hope that Skywalker over there is using it at night and it is too warm and he gets really sweaty and can't find a comfortable temperature. That's the only justice I can think of.
Doesn't it seem like every time you have something good in your life some jackass comes and rips it away? I don't mean anything big, but the little things.
When you get a good spot on the bus, some old bastard hobbles over and waits for you to get up.
If you stay up late to watch Letterman, it's a rerun.
Or, say you build a Death Star. Some bastard comes along and blows it up. And maybe Darth Vader and the Emperor REALLY liked the Death Star. Like the two of them and their friends would laugh about it and then make plans to use it in all different sorts of ways. It wasn't evil. It was just funny.
Well the son of a bitch Skywalker that I estimate to live in about 1F came along and dropped a bomb on us all. Maybe it's because the winter, maybe because he read this and got embarrassed, but the reason is not important. This is what I came back to Montreal to find.
Yes the wolf blanket is gone. For all the uglyness it brought to that courtyard, it brought much more joy to our hearts and lives. I hope that Skywalker over there is using it at night and it is too warm and he gets really sweaty and can't find a comfortable temperature. That's the only justice I can think of.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
The trip.
So I've been home now for almost 24 hours, had 4 slices of pizza, drank 1 glass containing 4 shots of espresso with 6 ice cubes, redeemed 9 free songs on iTunes, and studied for 1 math test tomorrow. Numbers are beautiful aren't they?
The trip was many things, both awesome and sad. I will now give you my top and bottom things from my weekend (+ Monday) trip back to my hometown, the city of Chicago.
First the good things:
-I had the grand fortune to be with my sister on her birthday and at a time when she needed me. I love her dearly.
-My dog is still fat. This is good because she's so cute.
-I cooked for everyone for my sister's birthday and either everyone really liked it or they are good liars.
-My niece Nola is the most adorable baby imaginable. She weakens all around her to the most dribbling baby talk and games of peek-a-boo, and we are all more than happy to oblige.
-Time magazine.
And now onto the bad things:
-My brother is still skinner than me. And what's worse, he's pretty much lapping me with that. Yeah, it's cool though. It's nothing new.
-Leaving everyone sucks. It's sad, but I am blessed with a family and friends that understand that I'm following my heart and dreams in Montreal.
-Kathryn wasn't there. Everyone was bummed about that.
-I'm a jackass and deleted all of my music off my hard drive. Oh the difference between Ctrl-C and Ctrl-X.
-I had the grand misfortune of sitting one row in front of the single most annoying person in the history of the universe on the way to Chicago. Honestly he gave his friend sitting next to him as well as the rest of the fuselage a play-by-play of his boring existence. He was literally louder and more annoying than the jet engines of the Embraer ERJ 145 we were on. I hope wherever he is, he is miserable.
-Tim :
(source)
There are many more great things about going home. But now it's time to buckle down and get my skoolin dunn. There was one more thing about my trip that I don't know can be classified as good or bad. Unfortunately it will have to wait until tomorrow when I can get a picture of it.
'Till then...
The trip was many things, both awesome and sad. I will now give you my top and bottom things from my weekend (+ Monday) trip back to my hometown, the city of Chicago.
First the good things:
-I had the grand fortune to be with my sister on her birthday and at a time when she needed me. I love her dearly.
-My dog is still fat. This is good because she's so cute.
-I cooked for everyone for my sister's birthday and either everyone really liked it or they are good liars.
-My niece Nola is the most adorable baby imaginable. She weakens all around her to the most dribbling baby talk and games of peek-a-boo, and we are all more than happy to oblige.
-Time magazine.
And now onto the bad things:
-My brother is still skinner than me. And what's worse, he's pretty much lapping me with that. Yeah, it's cool though. It's nothing new.
-Leaving everyone sucks. It's sad, but I am blessed with a family and friends that understand that I'm following my heart and dreams in Montreal.
-Kathryn wasn't there. Everyone was bummed about that.
-I'm a jackass and deleted all of my music off my hard drive. Oh the difference between Ctrl-C and Ctrl-X.
-I had the grand misfortune of sitting one row in front of the single most annoying person in the history of the universe on the way to Chicago. Honestly he gave his friend sitting next to him as well as the rest of the fuselage a play-by-play of his boring existence. He was literally louder and more annoying than the jet engines of the Embraer ERJ 145 we were on. I hope wherever he is, he is miserable.
-Tim :
(source)
There are many more great things about going home. But now it's time to buckle down and get my skoolin dunn. There was one more thing about my trip that I don't know can be classified as good or bad. Unfortunately it will have to wait until tomorrow when I can get a picture of it.
'Till then...
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Family.
Tonight we had the family over for my sister's birthday dinner and it was awesome. The only one missing was Kathryn. Tomorrow is hanging with the fat bastards of Chicago. We are going to eat mass amounts of FlatTop Grill.
I'm going to turn back the clocks and then go to sleep. Goodnight all.
I'm going to turn back the clocks and then go to sleep. Goodnight all.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Flying.
So here I am, getting ready for the trip tomorrow, as well as my speech I have to do in class tomorrow morning, and I realize how much flying is a pain in the ass. I know that it makes the world a smaller place and a 14 hour car ride just became a "2" hour flight, but is it?
I have to be ready to go at about 4 and I won't get to my parents' house until after 9. But that also includes a time change (Eastern to Central). So it's a 6 hour trip. And what's more, I am worried about bringing my computer and external hard drive because I hate carrying-on and I've seen through the little windows at the airport how those beasts man-handle our luggage!
What is a man to do? I'll pack my crap and go wait in the long ass lines and take my shoes off and worry about how much our pilot has had to drink today and chew gum so my ears don't explode and then, finally, land and have a great weekend with my friends and family. And I love them all so much that I'd do it every day if I could. But I can't do that without, oh I don't know, maybe winning the lottery?
I have to be ready to go at about 4 and I won't get to my parents' house until after 9. But that also includes a time change (Eastern to Central). So it's a 6 hour trip. And what's more, I am worried about bringing my computer and external hard drive because I hate carrying-on and I've seen through the little windows at the airport how those beasts man-handle our luggage!
What is a man to do? I'll pack my crap and go wait in the long ass lines and take my shoes off and worry about how much our pilot has had to drink today and chew gum so my ears don't explode and then, finally, land and have a great weekend with my friends and family. And I love them all so much that I'd do it every day if I could. But I can't do that without, oh I don't know, maybe winning the lottery?
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
The way you do the things you do.
Often times things come along in life that make you adapt. The computer made people everywhere change how they do things. The car did as well. Other times, it is the person that changes and their habits follow them but their way of doing things will change. In my case, I didn't change (much) and the whole world didn't change, but instead my location changed. With this in mind, I want to tell you about some of the things that I do differently now that I live in beautiful Montreal.
- Recycling is different here. You have to sort things. Which for normal people means sort. But for me (since this is kinda one of my chores) this means either
1. We get money for it so put it in the bag:
See that nice little bag on the table filled with stuff you bring back to the store and get money back? All on the table and nice. But with every nice bag, there is an evil-step-sister to its yang. Or yin. Whatever.
2. We don't get money for it so throw it in with the pile of shit that started in the bin and now is on the floor because Bebo's lazy ass won't bring it downstairs. This can be viewed here.
Yeah I should get on that.
-News. This isn't too different, but it's worth noting. I stay very informed on issues with my school, so the only newspapers I read now are about Concordia.
Not really cool or anything but I really like reading these.
-French. Basically everything I use here has English and French on it. And it's amazing at how quickly you get used to it and how much you scan over it. Our toothpaste for example:
Not just Extra Whitening but also Extra Blanchissant. Our phones aren't just cordless, they're cordless/ sans fil. This is the biggest change but also the one I most like. I am proud that I live in a place where there are so many different types of people and there are two predominant languages. And the one thing I've learned about Quebec is that the people don't give a fuck about what the rest of Canada or America thinks of them. The French are proud of their heritage and the English are proud of the diversity.
- Milk. Lait. It is something I consume everyday inside of my cereal. I love cereal. So we would always buy the cartons of milk. They go too fast. So like a true American, I say "Let's get a bigger one! YEEEEE HAAAWWW!!!" Well in Canada, they don't have gallons of milk (because of the metric system) so they have liters. Or as they call them litres. Well a litre is exactly what we've been pounding down over the last few months, so can't we go bigger? Because bigger is better.
This is what we got.
A nice little pitcher with a BAG of milk. It really is a sight to behold. You don't just buy one, though. You buy a bigger bag with four littler bags in it. Can I see the big bag, you ask? Why sure.
BAM! A bag of bags of milk. It's kind of like seeing the gigantic jars of relish and mayonnaise at Sam's Club. Too much. But honestly, it's better for the environment and it's easier to recycle 4 little bags than 1 big ass jug. And they have better things to use milk jugs for in Canada: Sweet Hockey Masks!
- Recycling is different here. You have to sort things. Which for normal people means sort. But for me (since this is kinda one of my chores) this means either
1. We get money for it so put it in the bag:
See that nice little bag on the table filled with stuff you bring back to the store and get money back? All on the table and nice. But with every nice bag, there is an evil-step-sister to its yang. Or yin. Whatever.
2. We don't get money for it so throw it in with the pile of shit that started in the bin and now is on the floor because Bebo's lazy ass won't bring it downstairs. This can be viewed here.
Yeah I should get on that.
-News. This isn't too different, but it's worth noting. I stay very informed on issues with my school, so the only newspapers I read now are about Concordia.
Not really cool or anything but I really like reading these.
-French. Basically everything I use here has English and French on it. And it's amazing at how quickly you get used to it and how much you scan over it. Our toothpaste for example:
Not just Extra Whitening but also Extra Blanchissant. Our phones aren't just cordless, they're cordless/ sans fil. This is the biggest change but also the one I most like. I am proud that I live in a place where there are so many different types of people and there are two predominant languages. And the one thing I've learned about Quebec is that the people don't give a fuck about what the rest of Canada or America thinks of them. The French are proud of their heritage and the English are proud of the diversity.
- Milk. Lait. It is something I consume everyday inside of my cereal. I love cereal. So we would always buy the cartons of milk. They go too fast. So like a true American, I say "Let's get a bigger one! YEEEEE HAAAWWW!!!" Well in Canada, they don't have gallons of milk (because of the metric system) so they have liters. Or as they call them litres. Well a litre is exactly what we've been pounding down over the last few months, so can't we go bigger? Because bigger is better.
This is what we got.
A nice little pitcher with a BAG of milk. It really is a sight to behold. You don't just buy one, though. You buy a bigger bag with four littler bags in it. Can I see the big bag, you ask? Why sure.
BAM! A bag of bags of milk. It's kind of like seeing the gigantic jars of relish and mayonnaise at Sam's Club. Too much. But honestly, it's better for the environment and it's easier to recycle 4 little bags than 1 big ass jug. And they have better things to use milk jugs for in Canada: Sweet Hockey Masks!
I'm coming home again.
For my sister's birthday this weekend, I'm coming home. It's only gonna be for a few days but I am hoping I'll get to see everyone. Kathryn and I are really bummed she won't be able to make it, so it's not gonna be 100% fun.
That's all for now. I'll try to post something with some substance and hopefully pictures in the next day or so.
That's all for now. I'll try to post something with some substance and hopefully pictures in the next day or so.
Friday, October 26, 2007
The people you know.
One of the many great things I've experienced since I've moved is the people I've met. While most of them have been interesting, I think Tony is worth blogging about.
In my Comm 212 on Fridays, there are about 60 people, and English is the first language of about 10 of us. It makes things interesting. But most of the people aren't French. They are Asian, Polish, Russian - all sorts of randomness I've never really experienced.
So the first day of class, we had to get into groups. I just got into a group with the people around me, one of which was "Tony". He is Chinese, about 35, and moved to Canada in 2001. His real name is Xiaodong Chen. He told me he changed his name because people couldn't pronounce his real name. Not that this bothered him, but he didn't want people to be embarrassed that they couldn't say his name.
Throughout the next few weeks I learned that Tony has a 14-year-old daughter that lives with him. His wife still lives in China. I assumed that he came here to work and get money to send back home and eventually planned to either move back or bring his wife here.
Today I found out more about our buddy Tony. He doesn't work. I say "Hey Tony, why don't you work?"
He says "Because I don't have to." You see, when Tony was my age, 24, he had 2 Bachelor's degrees and was going to school for his Master's. He also began to open up a chain of car dealerships. After getting his Master's and expanding into other businesses, he decided to go to England and get another graduate-level degree.
Now, he is independently wealthy, owns about 15 businesses, and only goes to school for something to do. He takes one or two classes a semester. When he told me this, he wasn't bragging or cocky AT ALL. It was almost like he was apologetic for not having told me before. The reason he is in Canada with his daughter and not his wife is his wife is in China looking after her sick parents. They both wanted their daughter to study different languages and get the best education so the two of them packed up and came to Canada. Tony's daughter goes to a private school in the ritzy part of Montreal and is fluent in Chinese, English, and French.
It's amazing, isn't it? I know this is a stupid "don't judge a book" story, but it really is wonderful to have all your preconceptions (I wouldn't call them prejudices) about someone totally smashed.
This is one of his business cards he gave me. I know it's blurry but it doesn't matter because I don't think anybody that can read Chinese will also be reading this.
In my Comm 212 on Fridays, there are about 60 people, and English is the first language of about 10 of us. It makes things interesting. But most of the people aren't French. They are Asian, Polish, Russian - all sorts of randomness I've never really experienced.
So the first day of class, we had to get into groups. I just got into a group with the people around me, one of which was "Tony". He is Chinese, about 35, and moved to Canada in 2001. His real name is Xiaodong Chen. He told me he changed his name because people couldn't pronounce his real name. Not that this bothered him, but he didn't want people to be embarrassed that they couldn't say his name.
Throughout the next few weeks I learned that Tony has a 14-year-old daughter that lives with him. His wife still lives in China. I assumed that he came here to work and get money to send back home and eventually planned to either move back or bring his wife here.
Today I found out more about our buddy Tony. He doesn't work. I say "Hey Tony, why don't you work?"
He says "Because I don't have to." You see, when Tony was my age, 24, he had 2 Bachelor's degrees and was going to school for his Master's. He also began to open up a chain of car dealerships. After getting his Master's and expanding into other businesses, he decided to go to England and get another graduate-level degree.
Now, he is independently wealthy, owns about 15 businesses, and only goes to school for something to do. He takes one or two classes a semester. When he told me this, he wasn't bragging or cocky AT ALL. It was almost like he was apologetic for not having told me before. The reason he is in Canada with his daughter and not his wife is his wife is in China looking after her sick parents. They both wanted their daughter to study different languages and get the best education so the two of them packed up and came to Canada. Tony's daughter goes to a private school in the ritzy part of Montreal and is fluent in Chinese, English, and French.
It's amazing, isn't it? I know this is a stupid "don't judge a book" story, but it really is wonderful to have all your preconceptions (I wouldn't call them prejudices) about someone totally smashed.
This is one of his business cards he gave me. I know it's blurry but it doesn't matter because I don't think anybody that can read Chinese will also be reading this.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Kathryn wins us something to do.
I'm sitting here doing homework and waiting for Kathryn to come home just now, and she calls me after work. She's going to get a routine check-up for the car, and we chit-chat a bit. She tells me she'll call me after or maybe during if she's bored and we hang up. I go back to reading (tee hee hee).
4 minutes later, she calls back SCREAMING something about a radio and "HHHHAAAIIIIJUSTWWWWAAAAHHHHNNNTIXXXXX!!!"
"What happened?" I say.
"I was just on the radio and won a contest and tickets and something! OH MY GOD I NEVER WIN ANYTHING!" she replies.
Long story short. Well short story short, just arranged differently and without quotations - Kat won 2 tickets courtesy of Q 92 and their contest Star Search (the winning answer was John Cusack) for us to go to The Grand Masquerade IV.
Pretty exciting stuff! We have to go downtown to pick up the tickets and I think we are going to go on Sunday. I'll let you guys know how it was.
Thank you Kathryn.
4 minutes later, she calls back SCREAMING something about a radio and "HHHHAAAIIIIJUSTWWWWAAAAHHHHNNNTIXXXXX!!!"
"What happened?" I say.
"I was just on the radio and won a contest and tickets and something! OH MY GOD I NEVER WIN ANYTHING!" she replies.
Long story short. Well short story short, just arranged differently and without quotations - Kat won 2 tickets courtesy of Q 92 and their contest Star Search (the winning answer was John Cusack) for us to go to The Grand Masquerade IV.
Pretty exciting stuff! We have to go downtown to pick up the tickets and I think we are going to go on Sunday. I'll let you guys know how it was.
Thank you Kathryn.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
My favorite websites.
As some of you may know, I am a bit of a night owl. So what do I do when I stay up so late with Kathryn usually sleeping by 10 or 10:30? I go online. Or I read.
And since just poking around online has such a negative connotation to many people, I thought it would be nice to put up some of my favorite websites so that you guys can get an idea of the stuff I'm into, and also to show you that the internet isn't always Myspace and YouTube.
#1) New York Times - I know, it's not the Trib or even the Gazette but it is the best mainstream news source in my opinion.
#2) ManyBooks.net - Download whole books for free (and it's legal!) as PDF's or for your iPod. A great way to read the "classic" books you always wanted to (I'm reading Wuthering Heights) without being the jackass to go to the store or library and get it. "Excuse me sir, can you tell me where to find Don Quixote?" Jackass.
#3) Uncyclopedia - This is what some people think of when they think of Wikipedia. Ridiculous articles and hilarious.
#4) kxcd I don't understand about 1/3 of the stuff here but the ones I do I think are hilarious. Hit random a few times and you'll be laughing.
#5) Woot I don't know how they sell some of this stuff so cheap, but it really is awesome. The amount of statistics they keep of the sales is insane.
And since just poking around online has such a negative connotation to many people, I thought it would be nice to put up some of my favorite websites so that you guys can get an idea of the stuff I'm into, and also to show you that the internet isn't always Myspace and YouTube.
#1) New York Times - I know, it's not the Trib or even the Gazette but it is the best mainstream news source in my opinion.
#2) ManyBooks.net - Download whole books for free (and it's legal!) as PDF's or for your iPod. A great way to read the "classic" books you always wanted to (I'm reading Wuthering Heights) without being the jackass to go to the store or library and get it. "Excuse me sir, can you tell me where to find Don Quixote?" Jackass.
#3) Uncyclopedia - This is what some people think of when they think of Wikipedia. Ridiculous articles and hilarious.
#4) kxcd I don't understand about 1/3 of the stuff here but the ones I do I think are hilarious. Hit random a few times and you'll be laughing.
#5) Woot I don't know how they sell some of this stuff so cheap, but it really is awesome. The amount of statistics they keep of the sales is insane.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
The best and the worst.
So I just wanted to fill everyone in on what I believe to be the best thing about the apartment in which I live as well as the worst thing about said apartment.
This one is pretty easy.
The best thing is that every weekday at about 5 PM, the woman of my dreams walks through the front door.
She is shown here in one of a trio of pictures I call "Bebo fakes he doesn't know how to use a camera and takes really bad pictures."
And now on to the worst thing. From where I am sitting now and sit often throughout the day, this is my view :
Hmm that's a nice little view you have for yourself there Bebo! You got your computer, your headphones for when Kathryn is sleeping, some coffee, and an old Tim Horton's cup in the back. All around just a solid little work area. You are blessed with all your needs right here. Now we just lean back and take a little look around...
Oh what's that? Oh we even have a nice little window. But surely the worst thing about my apartment can't be a window. They are our connection to the outside world. They give us light. We can open them and enjoy the cool breeze. It isn't the window that I fear, so let's dig a little deeper. Let's take a look through the blinds.
Woah what is that little blue thing? You see that in the middle between the blinds? The only way to know what that is, I guess, is to open the blinds and take a daring, middle-of-the-day creepy guy taking pictures out of his window picture. And this is what we see.
OH MY GOD. Our worst fears are realized. That is indeed a wolf blanket. And it has been there since I moved here. Just there. All blue.
This one is pretty easy.
The best thing is that every weekday at about 5 PM, the woman of my dreams walks through the front door.
She is shown here in one of a trio of pictures I call "Bebo fakes he doesn't know how to use a camera and takes really bad pictures."
And now on to the worst thing. From where I am sitting now and sit often throughout the day, this is my view :
Hmm that's a nice little view you have for yourself there Bebo! You got your computer, your headphones for when Kathryn is sleeping, some coffee, and an old Tim Horton's cup in the back. All around just a solid little work area. You are blessed with all your needs right here. Now we just lean back and take a little look around...
Oh what's that? Oh we even have a nice little window. But surely the worst thing about my apartment can't be a window. They are our connection to the outside world. They give us light. We can open them and enjoy the cool breeze. It isn't the window that I fear, so let's dig a little deeper. Let's take a look through the blinds.
Woah what is that little blue thing? You see that in the middle between the blinds? The only way to know what that is, I guess, is to open the blinds and take a daring, middle-of-the-day creepy guy taking pictures out of his window picture. And this is what we see.
OH MY GOD. Our worst fears are realized. That is indeed a wolf blanket. And it has been there since I moved here. Just there. All blue.
Friday, October 19, 2007
The bus.
This will require a bit of prefacing. I have class Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until 2:30 PM. I take the green line of the metro (subway) from Guy-Concordia to Lionel-Groulx. (You pronounce Groulx "grew".)
When you get off the metro, there is a mad-dash to catch the bus that leads to the west island, since the only real reason to get off at Lionel-Groulx is to catch this bus. The bus is the 211. But, during rush hour, there is also the 221 which is a rush-hour 211. This bus does different things at the end of the route, but the majority of the people on it (myself included) take it to Dorval which is the first stop (even though it can take about 45 minutes) so it doesn't matter which one I take.
When I get off the metro, I go to the street and there is always a huge line, either on the left (for the 211) or the right (the 221). Naturally, you wait in the longer one because that's the one that is coming next. Even if a bus is supposed to be the 211, say, it will change to the 221 if it sees that that line is bigger. Sound confusing? It's really not. Until today.
Scene - 2:35PM. Outside the Lionel-Groulx. Balmy. Overcast. Light rain falling. Otherwise normal day.
Enter fat American with Cubs hat, winded from long walk up the stairs :
I walk out to meet the day. I instantly see 2 things : there are about 100 people waiting for the 211 (this means I'm standing) and the back end of the 221 (JUST missed it). I walk about halfway down the line for the 211 when, like a jackal, the bus drives past us to the now deserted 221 stop. Woah. The driver should have changed to 211. Whatever. Myself and about 20 others jog over to pick up this bus, happy that we won't have to wait. Instead of thinking to myself "don't get on the bus of the person who leaves 100+ people standing in the rain," I thought "YES!!!"
This was, literally, the worst mistake of my life.
As I make the turn onto the bus, I always do two things. Show the bus pass and say "bonjour." The drivers love it. Seriously. It's my little way of giving back. So today is no different. Except that instead of a friendly "bonjour" back, I get a snarl. Like an honest-to-goodness snarl from the bus driver who looks abnormally like Phyllis from The Office -
Hmm. That's odd. So, as fate would have it, I am the penultimate person on this bus and the first of two to be standing. This was odd because I saw like 10 more people behind me jogging over to catch this bus. She literally slammed the door on people in the rain. ODD! Anyways, I should have sat on the floor, because what would take place over the next hour and a half I would wish on no man, woman, or child.
Devil-Phyllis, as I will call her, is quite easily the worst bus driver in the history of the universe. You could ride a camel bareback through a bazaar in Calcutta and not be in as much vehicular danger as I was with Devil-Phyllis at the helm of the Satan-bus. She drives like a drunken teenage girl speeding to a Myspace party. She would accelerate towards a stop sign (it was raining) only to then SLAM on the brakes. She apparently was getting paid by the gallon of gas burned, not hourly.
She was driving a BUS with LIVING HUMANS and doing about 60 MPH on a side street IN THE RAIN.
So that was horrible enough. But then she decided to take a little Devil-Phyllis shortcut. And by Devil-Phyllis shortcut, I mean the longest, most horrible, rain-soaked, brake-slamming, accelerating-to-stop-signs SHITcut of all time. And you are correct if you guessed that SHITcut has a red squiggly line under it. Apparently that isn't in the dictionary.
What I had penciled in my mental daily agenda as a 45 minute jaunt through western Montreal turned into an hour and a half long side street festival of turns and off-balanced attempts to drink my Starbucks.
When we finally arrived at Dorval, my arm was numb from the death-grip I had on the metal bar that saved my life about 80 times. As I looked out at the area where we would be stopping to let myself and the other Dorvalers off at, my heart dropped. School children. Devil-Phyllis would be driving school children home. May God have some sweet, sweet mercy on the 221 Devil-bus. Don't blame those kids for Devil-Phyllis' evil ways.
As I descended the small flight of stairs leading me to solid ground again, I felt like the first person to be negotiated for in a hostage situation. Yes I was glad, but I wouldn't rest until I knew those other souls were delivered home safely. Well I didn't hear anything on the news about Devil-Phyllis' Satan-public transportation vehicle taking anyone with her to hell so I can now rest.
And I missed the next bus because she took so long. I HATE HER!
When you get off the metro, there is a mad-dash to catch the bus that leads to the west island, since the only real reason to get off at Lionel-Groulx is to catch this bus. The bus is the 211. But, during rush hour, there is also the 221 which is a rush-hour 211. This bus does different things at the end of the route, but the majority of the people on it (myself included) take it to Dorval which is the first stop (even though it can take about 45 minutes) so it doesn't matter which one I take.
When I get off the metro, I go to the street and there is always a huge line, either on the left (for the 211) or the right (the 221). Naturally, you wait in the longer one because that's the one that is coming next. Even if a bus is supposed to be the 211, say, it will change to the 221 if it sees that that line is bigger. Sound confusing? It's really not. Until today.
Scene - 2:35PM. Outside the Lionel-Groulx. Balmy. Overcast. Light rain falling. Otherwise normal day.
Enter fat American with Cubs hat, winded from long walk up the stairs :
I walk out to meet the day. I instantly see 2 things : there are about 100 people waiting for the 211 (this means I'm standing) and the back end of the 221 (JUST missed it). I walk about halfway down the line for the 211 when, like a jackal, the bus drives past us to the now deserted 221 stop. Woah. The driver should have changed to 211. Whatever. Myself and about 20 others jog over to pick up this bus, happy that we won't have to wait. Instead of thinking to myself "don't get on the bus of the person who leaves 100+ people standing in the rain," I thought "YES!!!"
This was, literally, the worst mistake of my life.
As I make the turn onto the bus, I always do two things. Show the bus pass and say "bonjour." The drivers love it. Seriously. It's my little way of giving back. So today is no different. Except that instead of a friendly "bonjour" back, I get a snarl. Like an honest-to-goodness snarl from the bus driver who looks abnormally like Phyllis from The Office -
Hmm. That's odd. So, as fate would have it, I am the penultimate person on this bus and the first of two to be standing. This was odd because I saw like 10 more people behind me jogging over to catch this bus. She literally slammed the door on people in the rain. ODD! Anyways, I should have sat on the floor, because what would take place over the next hour and a half I would wish on no man, woman, or child.
Devil-Phyllis, as I will call her, is quite easily the worst bus driver in the history of the universe. You could ride a camel bareback through a bazaar in Calcutta and not be in as much vehicular danger as I was with Devil-Phyllis at the helm of the Satan-bus. She drives like a drunken teenage girl speeding to a Myspace party. She would accelerate towards a stop sign (it was raining) only to then SLAM on the brakes. She apparently was getting paid by the gallon of gas burned, not hourly.
She was driving a BUS with LIVING HUMANS and doing about 60 MPH on a side street IN THE RAIN.
So that was horrible enough. But then she decided to take a little Devil-Phyllis shortcut. And by Devil-Phyllis shortcut, I mean the longest, most horrible, rain-soaked, brake-slamming, accelerating-to-stop-signs SHITcut of all time. And you are correct if you guessed that SHITcut has a red squiggly line under it. Apparently that isn't in the dictionary.
What I had penciled in my mental daily agenda as a 45 minute jaunt through western Montreal turned into an hour and a half long side street festival of turns and off-balanced attempts to drink my Starbucks.
When we finally arrived at Dorval, my arm was numb from the death-grip I had on the metal bar that saved my life about 80 times. As I looked out at the area where we would be stopping to let myself and the other Dorvalers off at, my heart dropped. School children. Devil-Phyllis would be driving school children home. May God have some sweet, sweet mercy on the 221 Devil-bus. Don't blame those kids for Devil-Phyllis' evil ways.
As I descended the small flight of stairs leading me to solid ground again, I felt like the first person to be negotiated for in a hostage situation. Yes I was glad, but I wouldn't rest until I knew those other souls were delivered home safely. Well I didn't hear anything on the news about Devil-Phyllis' Satan-public transportation vehicle taking anyone with her to hell so I can now rest.
And I missed the next bus because she took so long. I HATE HER!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Exam Time.
Midterms really suck. But unlike normal class, you can't just stay home (KIDDING - sort of). You have to go. Which basically makes them suck more.
I have a midterm in approximately 4 hours and I am online blogging around and generally making an ass of my day. Why is this you ask? Because Concordia University thought it would be prudent for me to take Economics in my first semester. This is fine except I TOOK IT ALREADY. AND GOT AN A. LIKE 3 YEARS AGO. All in all, I must take 2 Econ classes and 2 Math classes over again as well as an online computer basics class.
Is this because I am an international student and am paying a much higher tuition rate? NAH! I'm sure it's only because they are scared that I will feel too pressured taking the other first semester classes like Speech. And Critical Thinking. And all the other big baddies that us wide eyed first year students must take (even though I'm 24).
So thank you Concordia University. You are enriching my University experience in ways you will never know. I will now eat some cereal and then I'll hit the books a bit. And if i don't get an A on this test, I will cut off my little-finger.
Cocky? No. Just underwhelmed.
I have a midterm in approximately 4 hours and I am online blogging around and generally making an ass of my day. Why is this you ask? Because Concordia University thought it would be prudent for me to take Economics in my first semester. This is fine except I TOOK IT ALREADY. AND GOT AN A. LIKE 3 YEARS AGO. All in all, I must take 2 Econ classes and 2 Math classes over again as well as an online computer basics class.
Is this because I am an international student and am paying a much higher tuition rate? NAH! I'm sure it's only because they are scared that I will feel too pressured taking the other first semester classes like Speech. And Critical Thinking. And all the other big baddies that us wide eyed first year students must take (even though I'm 24).
So thank you Concordia University. You are enriching my University experience in ways you will never know. I will now eat some cereal and then I'll hit the books a bit. And if i don't get an A on this test, I will cut off my little-finger.
Cocky? No. Just underwhelmed.
This is the first run.
I'm just checking right now to make sure this works. Hopefully this is something that I can do on a regular basis to keep in touch with my American friends and allies.
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