I have gone back and forth about writing this because, frankly, it is a tale of some not-so legal activities. I've decided it is too great and odd a tale to keep to myself. So, for the sake of those involved, I will omit some details but the store is as it happened.
Here goes...
I have been dreading buying textbooks for this semester because they are so expensive. An Asian friend of mine gave me a phone number to call (I think it was the equivalent of giving me a "he's with me" card). This person - who shall remain nameless, but only because I cannot pronounce their real name, only their fake English name - suggested I call this phone number and they will give me copies of my textbooks that a *cough* Mr. Xerox *cough* gave them. (Get it?)
Today, I called the number. I was all giddy and felt like I was doing something all bad and it was this big cool thing. I had my list of textbooks I needed and I wasn't too sure of what to expect.
RING RING RING...
"Herro?" - Asian Woman (Editor's note : Herr0 = Hello)
"Yes, hello. Umm... Hi. I uh... need some books?" - Me
"Wha nahbah?" Asian Woman (Wha nahbah = What number)
"Umm... I'm sorry. Do you want uhhh... like the ISBN number or..." - Me
"Coos nahbah" - Asian Woman (Coos nahbah = Course number)
I tell her and she tells me the price for all my books. And then comes the best part.
"You meet him outside of (coffee store whose name I won't say because I don't want to ruin the racket they have going with the textbooks), ok?" - Asian Woman
"How will I..." - Me
"Chinese man wearing red hat. 7:30. Don't be late. Bye." - Asian Woman
So now I have the drop-point! Fast forward 3 hours and about 200 of my shitty jokes about the Yakuza and how, "these aren't the kind of people we should be messing with."
Rollin deep in the Toyota (don't say I don't know about fitting in), Kathryn and I pull up to the "spot" and I wonder how easy it will be to pick out "our guy".
It was very easy. It was like a bad TV show. There was a 20-something Asian kid wearing nice clothes, a black puffy coat, and the most dollar-store bright-ass plain red hat you have ever seen standing on the corner. He was all pacing around and looking at his watch and carrying the most conspicuous plastic bag of books you've ever seen.
$130 later, I have 75 pounds of textbooks that would have cost me well over $400, as well as a new found kinship with red-hatted Asians.
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6 comments:
Can you bust them out in class? Like if the teacher's all like open your workbooks to chapter... whatever... and the Beeb whips out some mimeographer nonsense will you get Shanghai'd?
cough...I don't get it...cough
Let's just say they are photocopied and spiral bound books. Let's just say.
Ohhh gotcha. Wish they had that when I was paying 3 hundo for books.
Toyota is Jap, not china.
I wish I had the red hat textbook racket down here. If that were to happen I would probably get them from some shitbaskets in the sheetrock union.
"Yeah meet me at the corner or crawford and pulaski" Billy Port
"Uh, those 2 don't intersect" me
"Yeah I know I want to see if youse were the cops. But, yeah, I will be on the corner of Kedzie and Monteray over there by my god friend lanigan's house. I will be the douchebag covered in "sheet-rock" and drinking a tall of high life at 1030 in the morning."
xmustardtigerx
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